'IF ONLY' FEELING

Greetingssss to all of u!!! How are u this week?? It's AMAZING like USUAL rite?? For me, lumayan cape disini, kerjaan lg sibuk2nya.. 1 teman kerja aq pergi holiday selama 1 bulan, jadi aq harus replace semua shiftnya.. Cape bngt kdg2, ditambah lg jam mkn ma tdrq yg sudah amburadul semua kawan2.. I have to fix this soon!! Hahahhahahha.. But, God is still so good, I'm gonna tell u the story behind this later on since that's not what I wanna share today..

Today I wanna share about what I felt long time ago when i was in my 1st year at college in Sydney here. I don't know why but yesterday, i just thought about it and then i said to myself 'Ahh.. I'm gonna share this story in my new post'... So, enjoy it ya!!

Singkat cerita bagi kalian yang belum tau, dulu stelah lulus SMA, aq berangkat ke Sydney untuk kuliah disana. Lama kuliahnya 2,5 tahun and jurusan yang aq ambil adalah Hospitality Management.. Pertama-tama masuk kuliah wahh pasti ada excitednya dong ya.. Bertemu dengan teman2 baru dr berbagai negara juga, bisa belajar banyak dari mereka.. Meskipun ada bbrp perbedaan mengenai hal prinsip dll (sy udh share tentang ini di post thn lalu), but I still can manage myself to survive there.. Disini, kehidupannya lebih independent dan teratur and yes in some points, i do like it.. Until one day, I just checked all my old photos.. junior and high school photos, also i looked some of my friend's picture in Surabaya..

Setelah melihat fto2 tersebut, tiba2 ada perasaan kangen yg luar biasa banget teman2.. Biasanya saya kalau kangen pun, msh bisa menahan and control myself.. However, just at that time, i can't control it.. Semakin sy melihat dan melihat fto2 tersebut semakin bermunculan juga berbagai macam pikiran seperti ini : 

1. WAH.. IF ONLY.. Jika saya kuliah di Surabaya waktu itu, smuanya bakal enak deh. Ada yang antar jemput, smuanya udh ada disiapin oleh keluarga. SEMUANYA TERLIHAT BAKAL MUDAH SEKALI YA..

2. IF ONLY.. Jika saya kuliah di Surabaya setelah lulus SMA, saya pasti bisa bertemu dengan org surabaya yg lebih banyak lagi dan sy bisa belajar banyak dari mereka. Dengan kata lain, ini mengenai HAL SOSIALISASI dengan orang-orang yg ada di Surabaya..

3. IF ONLY.. Jika saja saya memilih untuk stay di Surabaya, kuliah disana, sy pasti bisa lebih lg aktif pelayanan di gereja (Mawar Sharon Church), mengenal banyak orang disana, dan juga pasti bakal asik sekali bertumbuh bersama.. Since this church is MY HOME (I'm gonna share about this too later ya)

4. IF ONLY.. Saya tidak pergi ke Sydney untuk kuliah, sy tdk perlu berpisah dengan keluarga dan teman2.. I love them like SO MUCH.. and it's difficult sometimes when i miss them but i can't see them face to face. 

** Banyak sekali kata2 'IF ONLY' yang berterbangan di otak saya sehingga semakin lama saya menjadi semakin stress sendiri. Hahahhahahhaha.. It's funny now when I think about it again. Sy jd diam sendiri di kamar, diam terpaku sambil banyak sekali pikiran2 'SEANDAINYA' di benak saya.. 

** U know what I did after that? I called my mom and said like this : MI, SAYA GA MAU SEKOLAH DISINI LAGI. SEKOLAH YANG DISINI DICANCEL AJA SEMUANYA YA.. SAYA MAU SEKOLAH DI SURABAYA AJA SUDAH, DI UKP ATAU DIMANA TERSERAH. GA MAU DISINI LAGI. MAU PULANG AJA SAYA.. I said that!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!! IT'S THE 1ST TIME FOR ME ALSO!!! IS IT 'HOMESICK'?? Dengan nada bicara saya yang sudah sangat datar sekali, seperti udh tidak ada semangat, yang ada di pikiran saya pada waktu itu cuma I WANNA GO HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! 

** Then my mom responded like this : CIN, KM TENANGIN DIRI DULU.. JANGAN BICARA KAYA GITU.. INI KM CUMA LG HOMESICK AJA.. SEMUA BAKAL BAIK-BAIK LAGI BESOK.. UDAH KM SKG TENANG YA, DOA DULU, TERUS TIDUR.. But i still INSISTED like : GA MAU MI SAYA MAU PULANG AJA, KUL DI SBY LEBIH ENAK SEMUA RASAE.. My mom still replied like : UDAH TENANG AJA KM DOAO DULU CIN, NI FEELING KM YG KAYA GINI CUMA SEMENTARA KOK MAMI TAU, JNG MIKIR YG ANEH2 LG YA.. DOA AJA UDAH SKG KM BIAR TENANG OK.. MAMI LOVES YOU.. Kata2 ini merupakan kata penutup telpon sy dan mami and i did like what my mom told me.. i control myself.. i tried to calm down.. duduk di ranjang diam, read my bible and berdoa.. I couldn't remember exactly whether I cried or not that night..

** When I prayed to God, told Him everything about what I felt here.. i told Him about my 'IF ONLY' feeling.. about life is harder here, i have to take care myself.. Oh God, orang2 disini semuanya sangat berbeda (sy sudah pernah post sebelumnya mengenai bagaimana sy harus benar2 menjaga pergaulan) and most times, they just dont care about other people condition .. 'Mind ur own business' mungkin bisa diblg seperti itu juga.. It's so hard in some ways.. Since my father died long long time ago, my mom sungguh memperhatikan saya dan saya terbiasa sekali diperhatikan seperti itu.. This new 'all alone' thing is really hard sometimes.. And now, sy merasa seperti I have noone here.. ALL BY MYSELF.. I'm more independent than my brother but I don't know why i felt so weak that day.. All my friends in Surabaya rasanya enak sekali, bisa setiap hari bertemu dan berkumpul dengan orang-orang yang mereka kasihi. I just wanna go home God...

## THEN IN MY HEART, THERE'S SMALL VOICE, SMALL BUT CLEAR TOLD ME LIKE THIS : MY WAY IS NOT YOUR WAY.. MY PLAN IS NOT THE SAME AS YOURS.. MY PLAN IS BIGGER.. IT SEEMS HARD NOW BUT JUST BELIEVE IN ME THAT I HAVE PREPARED A LOT OF EXTRAORDINARY THINGS FOR YOU.. BE STILL, JUST HOLD ON TO UR FAITH.. DON'T GIVE UP BECAUSE I'M WITH YOU. YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD. REMEMBER THAT MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU.. MY GREAT STRENGTH WILL BE REVEALED PERFECTLY IN UR WEAKNESS.. JUST HOLD ON A LITTLE BIT LONGER AND U WILL SEE.. THIS IS JUST A PROCESS.. A PROCESS TO SHAPE UR CHARACTER.. SURRENDER ALL TO ME AND EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE IN THE END.. I PROMISE U..

## THOSE WORDS ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.. THOSE WORDS GIVE ME STRENGTH AGAIN..'BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD'.. I'M BACK ON MY TRACK AND YES, TOMORROW I DID NOT THINK ABOUT THIS 'IF ONLY' MATTERS AGAIN.. I CHOOSE TO SURRENDER ALL MY BURDEN AND SORROW TO HIM.. I SMILE AGAIN AND NOW I KNOW THAT HIS PLAN IS TOTALLY BIGGER THAN MINE! ABSOLUTELY BIGGER AND BETTER!!! I AM AMAZED!!! NOW I SAID TO MYSELF : 'AH.. I UNDERSTAND NOW..'

## My friend, sometimes kita melihat masalah kita seperti sesuatu yang sangat besar sekali.. Seperti seakan2 tidak ada jalan keluar dan itu bisa membuat kita jadi pusing sendiri.. But now, i hope my story can inspire u at least a bit..

1. WHEN U HAVE PROBLEM, OR WHEN U FACE SOMETHING WHICH IS REALLY DIFFICULT, DO NOT PUT UR EYES INTO THAT PROBLEM. FIX UR EYES STRAIGHT AWAY TO JESUS FIRST! PRAY, PRAY, AND PRAY.. HE ALWAYS COMES 1ST! JUST TELL HIM EVERYTHING.. HE'S NEVER ABSENT IN OUR LIFE.. AS LONG AS WE LET HIM ENTER AND WORKS IN OUR CIRCLE OF LIFE.. REMEMBER THAT OUR GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANY OTHER THINGS!

2. EVEN IT SEEMS LIKE THERE IS NO WAY OUT, BUT WHEN U PUT UR FAITH IN GOD, SURRENDER ALL TO HIM, HE WILL MAKE A WAY THAT WILL MAKE U AMAZED! HIS PLAN IS WAY BIGGER THAN OUR PLAN.. UNPREDICTABLE YET THE BEST!!! AND ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THE CORRECT TIME!! ALWAYS!!!

3. HUMAN IS NOT PERFECT.. HUMAN HAS SO MANY FLAWS AND WEAKNESSES.. BUT REMEMBER THERE IS ONE INDIVIDUAL WHO IS PERFECT AND FLAWLESS.. OUR GOD!!!! HE CAN DO EVERYTHING, OPEN A DOOR FOR YOU THAT NOONE CAN CLOSE AGAIN.. NOONE!! WHEN GOD IS WITH US, WHO CAN STAND AGAINST US?

4. LAST ONE.. FAITH.. FAITH.. HAVE FAITH IN HIM... NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN IN UR CIRCUMSTANCES NOW.. I ADMIT THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS LIKE FUTURE, LOVE RELATIONSHIP OR MAYBE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO STAND BY URSIDE, CAREER, UNI-LIFE AND MANY MORE THAT SOMETIMES CAN DISTRACT US.. ME TOO, SOMETIMES WILL WORRY ABOUT THOSE THINGS.. BUT NOW I CONTROL MY SELF, IF I START WORRY ABOUT THOSE THINGS, STRAIGHT AWAY I PRAY OR READ HIS WORDS IN THE BIBLE SO I CAN GET BACK IN THE CORRECT PATH.. U MUST HAVE THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE ABOUT THIS LIFE.. AND  U WILL GET IT AS LONG AS U HAVE THE RIGHT FOUNDATION TOO WHICH IS IN CHRIST ALONE.. HE IS FAITHFUL.. HE WILL KEEP HIS PROMISE.. BE PATIENT.. HOLD ON TO UR FAITH.. THE PROCESS IS DIFFICULT MAYBE, YET IT IS WORTH TO FIGHT.. FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT THING WITH THE RIGHT WAY.. HIS PROMISES ARE WORTH TO WAIT. WHEN U PUT UR FAITH IN HIM, U WILL GET POWER TO AGAINST ALL ODDS IN THIS WORLD..

** I AM SO GRATEFUL NOW WITH MY LIFE.. IN FACT, I AM BEYOND GRATEFUL.. I LEARN A LOT OF THINGS HERE.. I MEET MANY NEW PEOPLE HERE AND SOME OF THEM ARE SO GREAT.. THEY BECOME A BLESSING IN MY LIFE.. THEY ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST THAT CAN GIVE ME STRENGTH ALWAYS.. GOD REALLY HAS THE BEST PLAN FOR ME.. (I'm gonna share about this completely later too :) )

#### THIS WORLD CAN STEAL EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE NOW.. OUR BELOVED ONES, OUR PARENTS, OUR BEST FRIENDS, OUR TREASURE, ETC.. BUT THERE IS ONE THING THAT CAN NOT BE STOLEN FROM US.. OUR FAITH.. IT'S UR CHOICE WHETHER U WANNA GIVE IT UP AND LET THE WORLD TAKE IT OR HOLD ON TIL THE END TO GET THE REWARDS THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR YOU ####

Regards, Cindy

There Are NO Accidents

Hi all :) Just a short post from me. One of my good friend sent these beautiful words and it had such a positive impacts to me. I feel that I must share those words to all of you, so.. Sit nicely on ur chair, u can drink cup of tea or hot chocolate, even some juices if the weather in ur city is hot. Hehehe.. Ready for God's words?? Enjoy reading it! God bless you!! :):):)

 "This means tremendous joy to you, I know, even though you are temporarily harassed by all kinds of trials and temptations. This is no accident — it happens to prove your faith, which is infinitely more valuable than gold ..." (1 Peter 1:6-7 PH)

In order to build your faith, God will give you a dream. Then, he'll urge you to make a decision. But then HE WILL ALLOW A DELAY, because :

## In the delay He matures you and prepares you for what is to come.

## The truth is : YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLES WHILE GOD DELAYS.

This isn't because he doesn't care about you or that he's forgotten your circumstances; rather, it's one of the ways He PUSHES YOU TOWARD the deep end of faith.

As God delays, you'll face 2 types of difficulties: CIRCUMSTANCES and CRITICS. 

This is a natural part of life. God designed it this way because he knows we grow stronger when facing adversity and opposition.

1. When Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt into the desert toward the Promised Land, he had one problem after another. First there was no water. Then there was no food. Then there were a bunch of complainers. Then there were poisonous snakes. Moses was doing what God wanted him to do, but he still had problems.

2. David was anointed king, and then for the next several years he was hunted down by Saul.

3. Joseph had a dream of becoming a ruler, yet he was sold into slavery and thrown into prison on a false charge where he languished, forgotten. 

4. Imagine the difficulties Noah had building a floating zoo!

5. The Bible says that when Moses died, Joshua was appointed the new leader. Moses led the people across the desert, and then Joshua led them into the Promised Land. Did he get the easy part? The Bible says that when the Israelites entered the Promised Land, there were giants in the land. Even in the Promised Land there were problems!

HOWEVER : ALL THE PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES THAT HAPPENS TO YOU NOW, THEY ARE ONLY TEMPORARY.. ONLY FOR A WHILE.. GOD WILL BRING IT TO PASS IN THE RIGHT TIME WITH HIS UNPREDICTABLE WAYS. BE PATIENT AND BELIEVE IN HIS TIMING.


 

**** God allows a delay because HE IS BUILDING OUR FAITH AND CHARACTERS.

**** When we finally come to a place where the difficulties become so bad, WHERE WE'VE REACHED OUR LIMITS, where we've TRIED EVERYTHING AND EXHAUSTED ALL OUR OPTIONS, IT IS THEN GOD BEGINS HIS MIGHTY WORKS.

## " I HAVE TOLD YOU THESE THINGS, SO THAT IN ME YOU FIND PEACE. IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT REJOICE ! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD"  - (JOHN 16:33)

Regards, Cindy

A Living Miracle

Greetinggggg guys!!!!! How are u all? Post kali ini, lagi2 aq mau share sebuah video buat kalian. Post aq di bulan April ni semua tentang video ya btw, baru sadar juga,hahahahhaha.. However, video di bawah ini bercerita tentang TRUE STORY from a korean kid named Tae Ho..


This story is one of my favourite. It gives me strength always and taught me about being GRATEFUL.. This boy is TOTALLY AN EXTRAORDINARY KID!! Sometimes as a human, we think that we have the BIGGEST problem in the world but the truth is NOT like that. Banyak sekali orang yang memiliki masalah atau tantangan lebih sulit daripada kita, BUT STILL MANAGE TO SURVIVE AND BEING GRATEFUL..

' IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW IT LOOKS LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE, JUST BELIEVE THAT GOD WORKS SOMETHING ON THE INSIDE' (Ps.Stovall)

WHATEVER HAPPENS IN UR LIFE NOW IS JUST A PROCESS. MAYBE U DON'T KNOW WHY IT HAPPENS TO U OR WHEN IT WILL BE GONE. BUT THE THING IS : U JUST DON'T NEED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS OF UR PROBLEM/QUESTIONS STRAIGHT AWAY AT THAT TIME.

## BE PATIENT. HE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL ACCORDING TO HIS TIME. HIS TIME IS ALWAYS THE BEST. AND WHEN THAT TIME COMES, YOU WILL REALIZE IT AND SAY : 'AH.. I UNDERSTAND NOW' ..

LOOK AT THIS BOY, ISN'T HE AMAZING? NO ARMED, ABANDONED, HAS 8 DISABILITIES, BUT STILL SMILING.. INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING, HE WORKED EVEN HARDER TO OVERCOME IT. HE DID SUCH A BIG EFFORT AND NEVER GIVING UP! HE HAS SUCH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE! I ADORE THIS KID SO MUCH!! A LIVING MIRACLE!!

** If you want to watch the complete video, you can click this link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfL2U0BJ48g

## BE GRATEFUL ALWAYS.. REGARDLESS UR CIRCUMSTANCES.. IT'S UR CHOICE AND DECISION.. 

## REMEMBER THIS : 

1. A COMPLAINT WILL NOT SOLVE A PROBLEM. IT GIVES U BAD EFFECTS INSTEAD

2. WHEN U CHOOSE TO BE THANKFUL, U CAN SEE THINGS FROM DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. THE POSITIVE SIDE

3. I PROMISE U THIS : WHEN U PUT UR TRUST, HOPE, AND FAITH IN GOD'S HAND.. NOT LEANING ON UR OWN UNDERSTANDING.. SURRENDER ALL TO GOD'S WAY.. BELIEVE IN HIS TIMING.. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE IN THE END.. IF IT'S NOT FINE, IF IT'S NOT ALRIGHT THEN IT'S NOT THE END YET..

Regards, Cindy

WHEN GOD RAN

Another great great and great video animation that shows us HIS UNENDING LOVE. Enjoy Guys :)

The lyrics is so good and touched also. How He always waiting for us to come back even we have hurt Him a lot with our wrong and bad deeds. STILL AND STILL.. HE WAITS FOR US WITH HIS OPEN ARMS.. ALWAYS.. ONCE, NOW, AND FOREVER.

LONG TIME AGO, WHEN I SAID TO HIM.. AND TO MYSELF THAT I WANTED TO CHANGE.. 'IT'S THE ONLY TIME I EVER SAW HIM RUN' TOOK ME IN HIS ARMS AND SAID 'WELCOME HOME.. YOU ARE SAFE NOW WITH ME' 

I WAS BLIND ONCE IN MY LIFE, I HAVE NO PURPOSE.. BUT NOW, SINCE I FOUND HIM, I CAN SEE SO CLEAR WITH THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE.. ISN'T THAT AMAZING? HE'S JUST SO GOOD.. TOO GOOD IN FACT.. 

HIS MERCY, GRACE AND UNENDING LOVE ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.. IT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH TO FACE THIS WORLD'S CHALLENGES AND OBSTACLES..

## JOHN 16:33 : 'I HAVE TOLD YOU THESE THINGS, SO THAT IN ME YOU FIND PEACE. IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT REJOICE! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD'

ON THAT DAY, HE CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE AND I CALLED IT AS MY PERFECT DAY. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING EXPERIENCE THAT I HAVE EVER GOT IN MY LIFE.. THANKS JESUS :) I AM BEYOND GRATEFUL.. I AM BLESSED, TO BE A BLESSING SO HIS NAME CAN BE LIFTED UP ALWAYS..

## JOHN 3:16 --> YES, GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM MAY NOT BE LOST, BUT MAY HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.

** LET'S CELEBRATE EASTER TOGETHER.. GIVING YOUR BEST.. PRAISE AND WORSHIP HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART.. LET'S EXALT HIM.. :)

Regards, Cindy

An EASTER Project

Hallloooo semuanyaaa.. Sorry banget ya udh vakum selama sebulan.. Banyak banget assignment dari skul yang aharus diselesaiin plus sibuk kerja aja.. Short story, di last term ini, aq cuma punya 1 subject buat fiinal exam, jd subject yang lain final examnya tu berupa assignment.. Alhasil, hampir setiap hari begadang, udh lama2 jd ky 'vampire' (tdr pagi hari, mlm haari bangun).. Ga terbayang udh waktu tdrq, super ga teratur guys.. Ntar ya di next post aq bakal crta banyak tentang ini..

Now, di post ini, aq mau share ke kalian tentang SUATU PROJECT yang aq buat bersama tmn2 komsel aq disini.. The name of my CG is BLOSSOMS.. Lucunya, kita ni connect group yang emg khusus cwe gt,ihihihihihhiih.. Video ini tentang EASTER (sebentar lg lho!!! I'm SO SO SO EXCITED!!!!!) And di grjq, Hillsong Sydney, ada suatu bentuk campaign gt called CROSS=HEART and that's what we did!!! 

CHECK OUT THIS COOL VIDEO YA! Dengan background THE CITY of SYDNEY di malam hari yg SO BEAUTIFUL AS WELL!!! ENJOY GUYS!!! :D

I PRESENT YOU... CROSS EQUAL HEART BY BLOSSOMS!! :)

# EASTER POST IS COMING SOON.. WAIT FOR IT! :D 
 
 

Regards, Cindy