Contentment

Play the song while reading :)
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CONTENTMENT

Is my current state of being at this very moment..

Is my inside attitude toward what happen outside..

It's not because everything went smooth in my life..

It doesn't mean my life goes perfectly like the way I've wanted or expected..

Since the fact was just the opposite..

Many things happened not according to what I have planned..

All messed up and it attacked my feeling..

Too many changes in such a short time that made me stressful in these past few months..

Too many things to do or fix but I felt I only have such a little time..

How should I handle it then? What should I do? What do You want me to do?

I asked those questions so many times in my prayer at night..

My heart is fragile at some points and all those unexpected things made me so overwhelmed..

Even everyday I was doing several activities, surrounded by many people, still I felt lost inside..

I am just a normal human being and at that time, I felt so weak..

Yet I thank God, that in those times, God still gives me power to offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving..

To at least have a little faith, that everything works for my good and I would be able to understand the reason behind it one day..

Day by day, I hold that kind of faith in my heart..

Day by day, by the Grace of The Lord, I was able to endure everything..

A moment after, after struggling a lot, with the help of 3 angels in my life, I was finally able to stand up again..


Through these events, He had reminded me again about the importance of being content in one's life..

In my life, I've found that happiness is a choice and joy is a gift from The Creator..

Yet to be able to experience the true meaning of joy, an invidual needs to master a contentment in his/her life..


The key is to accept that life doesn't go like what you always think of..

To accept that noone is perfect..

To accept that people will disappoint you, now or later..

To accept that career goes up and down, even stuck sometimes..

Health can turn into sickness so does riches to poverty in just a second..


See, life is full of unstable things..

World offers so many distractions, so many definition about what life should look like..


It teaches us that the result is the only important thing you need to focus on..

It teaches us that procrastinating is a good thing and a way out for so many problems..

Forgetting that in order to gain good and right result, you need to be strong also in the process..

Forgetting that procrastinating will actually piling up one's problems and make it worse later..

Therefore in your journey of achieving the result, you need to be strong and able to discipline yourself on the inside, to face what's outside..


Long long time ago, I commented an individual like this : 'You are such a joyful person'. Hearing that, she smiled and said thank you.

Left me wonder, how could she become joyful all the time? Then I came to here and ask what's her secret..

Still smiling, she answered me, 'I just being content with my life right now. God is good'. That answered silenced me with my mouth opened, feeling amazed towards her.

I learnt a lot of things from her and until now, she still becomes one of my role model..


As a human being, we need to understand that.......

Comparison is useful if you use it ONLY as motivation and to make you feel grateful God's goodness in your life.. Other than this, avoid comparing, with whatsoever reason..

Saying enough is ENOUGH is really important sometimes.. So you realize what you have AT THIS VERY MOMENT, is actually ENOUGH.. To achieve, to create, to help, to support, and to shape you towards your dream..

Admitting that what you have is SUFFICIENT, including your talent and ability. Don't throw words like, 'I will do this and that when I become.... or when I have......' or I don't start now because I still lack of this this this and that'. Procrastinating about things, having so many excuses only to cover a vague fear..

Who asked you to change the world or do something magnificent straight away? Just do your best with what you have now.. DON'T GET TOO RUSH OUT, YET TOO RELAX AS WELL..  ONE STEP AT A TIME  or slowly but sure are certainly so much better than DOING NOTHING with what you have then complaining that you have LESS while actually having MORE than enough..

People need to wake up for their dreams and their procrastinating way of life, to be able to pursue their REAL DREAMS IN REAL LIFE..

GET OUT FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE.. NO GROWTH CAN BE FOUND THERE, SO GET UP AND MOVE!!

Being DISCIPLINE about life, start from the smallest things in your activities list in A DAY.. Make it a habit.. WITH A REALIZATION ABOUT IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD TO DISCIPLINE CERTAIN AREA IN OUR LIFE thus we do it with a great willingness..

Be satisfied and grateful NOT ONLY IN WORDS BUT IN YOUR ACTION AS WELL, in a correct way so it won't lead to arrogance..

Everything takes TIME.. EVERYTHING LITERALLY MEANS EVERYTHING, NOT SOME THINGS.. What you wanna know, the answers for your problem, the reason behind certain events in your life, about people, your dream, your passion, achievement, even good, better, and best thing are all NEEDS TIME. Therefore you need to have patience, not little, but a lot of patience for several things because sometimes He wants you to wait for quite a long time, but indeed in the end serve the best purpose.


'FOR MY GOD CREATED MY INMOST BEING, HE KNIT ME TOGETHER IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB.. I AM WONDERFULLY MADE.. HIS WORKS ARE WONDERFUL' = I AM, YOU ARE, NOT LESS AT ALL.. WE ARE HIS MASTERPIECE (PSALMS 139:13-14)

'I HAVE TOLD YOU THESE THINGS, SO THAT IN ME YOU FIND PEACE. IN THIS WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE, BUT TAKE HEART! I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD' = Troubles, problems, challenges are inevitable in this life. BUT COURAGE, AGAIN TAKE HEART, THE ALMIGHTY IS ON YOUR SIDE.. (JOHN 16:33)

'MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU. FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS, SO THAT CHRIST'S POWER MAY DWELL IN ME' = You have all you need to face everything that comes against you inside or outside, at this time, right now.  (2 CORINTHIANS 12: 7-9)

'NEVER WILL I LEAVE YOU, NEVER WILL I FORSAKE YOU' = You are not alone.. (HEBREWS 13:5)

'DO NOT BE AFRAID FOR I AM WITH YOU. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU AND HELP YOU. I WILL HOLD YOU UP WITH MY VICTORIOUS RIGHT HAND' = Do you still need an explanation for these words (ISAIAH 41:10)


I am an imperfect human being.. Even I know all these verses, there's a time I will fall apart.. I will cry and clueless about what I supposed to do.. I could be forgetful about those words about patience, content, discipline, endurance and many more.

That's why towards people that helped me a lot until this point of my journey, the ones who always gives me unending support, speak those encouraging words towards me even sometimes it feels like they slapped me right on my face, lending me a helping hand, stay beside me in my darkest hour, believe in me, and knowing me best more than I know myself ; I am absolutely feel grateful and blessed having them all in my life.. I believe you know who you are..

Peeps, with humility I wanna say this :

Sometimes, or should I say most times, GOD uses other people to remind you about something, to tell you something, even teaching you something, so you can be a better you, to be the best of you. And I acknowledged, it hurts sometimes. Change hurts and certainly not feel good at all at that time.. Perhaps you won't feel right about getting out of your comfort zone. Me too. I feel the same as well..

Have I said to you that before I was a super introvert, nerd, quiet, arrogant, bad mouth, and lack of confidence person?

I feel insufficient about my self in all areas. Everything that came out from my mouth was just negative things. If people praised me, I felt that they were all lying.. If my mom said I'm good at something, I felt like of course she said that since she's my mom, what do you expect her to say?

I couldn't accept myself.. I couldn't feel content about myself.. In words, in action.. In everything..

It all changed after my personal encounter with GOD, supported by my daily commitment to start a new beginning, close the old chapter and become the new me.

I leave the old me.. I leave my old habits.. AND IT'S NOT AN EASY TASK.

Don't you dare say to me it was easy, LOL :D

IT WAS SO HARD. I CRIED ALMOST EVERY NIGHT SINCE IT WAS TOO DIFFICULT, I'M NOT GET USED TO THE NEW THINGS THAT I KNOW I HAD TO DO.. My motivation decreased day by day even I know I did this because it's the right thing to do.. WORSE, not even 1 person motivate me since I didn't tell anyone about my struggle.. My mom didn't know as well about this until I admitted it only 1 or 2 years ago maybe..

From there, firstly, I learnt there was a time, I need to be able to MOTIVATE YOURSELF SINCE YOU THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO IT TO YOURSELF.. I need to be able to PUSH myself since I couldn't depend on other people to do it for me.. Other people is busy, they have their own things to take care. And other people means other individuals beside you, like your parents, brother/sister, spouse, bestfriends, etc. They are busy and not gonna remember you all the time FULLSTOP.

Secondly, it's NOT GOOD TO KEEP YOUR STRUGGLE ONLY TO YOURSELF SOMETIMES.. There will be a time when we actually need to share it with more mature people that we trust.. Who knows they can become our solution? But be careful, in this as well.. Many people want to let other people down with unspecific reasons.. You are the best person to know who can be that savior you can run into if you have problems..

Thirdly, YOU ARE IN CHARGE WITH YOUR OWN LIFE. YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. IF YOUR LIFE STUCK OR IS FALLING APPART, NEVER PUT THE BLAME ON OTHERS WITHOUT DOING SOME REFLECTION FIRST.

At that time, everyday, I made time to stood before my mirror, saying that I am wonderfully made by the great hands of The Lord and not lacking anything. I observe how people say hi to someone else, how they started a conversation in a good manner, I learnt to be opened, I learnt to say thank you if people praised me, not thinking if they are just lying, I learnt to believe that people who loves me like my mom, if she said good things, she meant it ; I learnt to trust. Not being apathetic towards myself and others.

Lastly, I have a true story that I know when I was in high school, which I suddenly remembered it and want to share it with you.

There was a gentleman.. He is good looking, smart and not lack of anything tangible in his life.. Yet he always feel less about himself.. He always feel something's still missing in his life.. It's like there's a hole in his heart.. The emptiness.. He has no motivation to do something or passion in everything.. He want to find out what he really loves to do so he could live his life with a joy feeling in his heart.. He doesn't have many friends but he had 1 best friend he adored since everytime he saw him, he was so happy and passionate about his life..

He asked him what should he do.. He didn't want to live his life like this for the rest of his life.. He confuse and doesn't know what to do.. After some minutes of silence, his best friend said words that changed his life forever..

He said :

'Mmmmmm.. I guess noone knows the answer of your confusion. However, I could tell you what I know since we are close and sorry if it's quite harsh but I think for your good, I need to tell you this.. I think you are just lazy and blind sometimes.. You just don't wanna do something with what you have now and refused to see His blessing in your life.. Your 'work hard' is actually nothing compares to other people's definition of work hard. You gave up easily even before you start, you don't wanna do something if it's hard, and worse you don't believe in yourself.

'Just admit it, even you said so many times to me you have confidence, but for me, you are far far away from what confidence is all about. That's why you never believe that your idea will work out in the business. And without ideas and action, how can you find your passion? Some people are not just born and knowing their passion straight away. They need to find and pursue it, and it takes time. I believe you have a glimpse of this but not doing anything with it because you just don't want to get out from your comfort zone. Then if other people become successful, you try to find excuses and told me 'of course they are succeed because they have this this this'. You gave me so many reasons just to cover your fear and incompetent feeling about yourself.'

'That's why I think you are blind. You are too caught up with what you don't have instead of REALIZING WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY HAVE. Don't give me nonsense reasons like what you have is what your parents have. What your parents have is what you have also. I give you an example, you live in XY street right, if your friend pass by, and they said : Hi, yesterday I passed your house when I was jogging. Are you gonna reply them with 'Sorry it's not my house, it's my dad house while you actually live in it? Are you joking or what? So stop that unworthy feeling.. Why you make it complicated? JUST BE GRATEFUL.. Why is it so hard for you to say thanks God???

'OTHER THING IS YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTION.. DO SOMETHING WITH WHATEVER YOU HAVE AT THE MOMENT.. FROM THERE YOU CAN FIND WHAT YOU REALLY LIKE.. CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND BE DISCIPLINED. This world is not easy.. Don't be a coward.. Stop procrastinating or having too many excuses about everything. If people encourage you to actually do something, you accused them to push you too hard, you said they rushed you while actually they are not. You just wanna stay your comfort zone. Your mental is down not because others, but because you can't accept yourself and refuse to adapt with the hard way of life. There you go. Sorry but truth hurts.

'For recommendations, instead of just try to find what you like and good at in a passive way like asking or researching, try to actually DO WHAT YOU CAN DO. From there it will lead to something. And don't forget to GIVE THANKS TO GOD. Just so you know, so many people wanted to be in your position right now. So you really need to practice to say positive words about your life and be grateful.

'And lastly before I forget, that hole that you feel inside your heart, is actually for your relationship with God. Perhaps you won't believe me but once again, that's the truth. As an individual, we need to have relationship with our Creator. Even after you have achievement one day, if you don't have connection with Him, you will still feel empty inside. It happened to me before and I spent many years to look for so many things to fulfill that hole yet it failed. I just don't want you to spend years in this part since the answer is absolute. I believe you know it, but again, you just afraid, afraid to experiencing it and the reason behind your fear is I dunno, since you are full of excuses most times. You can be extraordinary actually, but you choose to become ordinary. But it's your life so your responsibility, I only can help. That's it from me'.

Then he left because he needed to go somewhere. Hearing all those sentences he was so shocked. His mouth wide opened and couldn't believe someone just said that to him. He was so angry but at the same time speechless. He couldn't reply anything since most of them was true.

After several years, he finally contacted his bestfriend again :

He said sorry for not contacting him for many years. He was mad, but not actually to him but to every word he said since it's right. Then he explained all these years he's been thinking and finally made a decision to applied what he told him. He attended small connect group nearby his area. He tried to do what he could do. He told him that he's running a small business now and even he's still on his way to find what's his passion really is, he can accept and be content with his condition now. He even said contentment has opened his eyes a lot about God's blessing in his life everyday. He is happy with his life. He continued by telling a story about how relationship with God help him for having faith in his struggle for certain area in his life. He thanked his best friend for speaking so harsh but for his good. Without him, perhaps his life would just falling appart.
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The 1st time I heard it, I was amazed since the point this story struct me as well. The way God uses his best friends to confront him, with those words and wisdom are just out of words. Hope you get the moral point as well..

That's why if there's people surround you who has courage to speak the truth towards your life, appreciate them.. Say thank you.. Even if the way they do it or the words they choose isn't nice.. We can't expect people to do everything like the way we want them to be..


-REMEMBER : EVEN THOUGH RIGHT NOW MAY FEEL LIKE YOUR MOST DIFFICULT TIME, IT MIGHT BECOME THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS LATER ON.'-

REMEMBER THAT MIRACLE HAS A PROCESS TOO.. 


# IT'S THE PROCESS AND JOURNEY, NOT JUST THE RESULT AND DESTINATION, THAT'S MATTER IN THIS LIFE..

# EVEN MAYBE YOU HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO BECOMPLAINED ABOUT IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, IF YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES AND HEART WIDELY, YOU WILL SEE HIS GOODNESS THAT CAN GIVE YOU MORE REASONS TO SING AND BLESS HIM ALWAYS..

# DEUTERONOMY 8 : 2-3b = ² Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ³ He humbled you, ..., to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord

The happiest people don't have the best of everything, but they MAKE THE BEST OUT OF EVERYTHING.

* NO DOUBT YOU HAVE TO OWN MONEY AND MATERIALS IN THIS WORLD TO BE ABLE TO LIVE, BUT DON'T LET THEM OWN YOU.

CONQUER THE WORLD.. BUT DON'T LET THE WORLD CONQUER YOU.. 

Be content.. Believe that whatever happens in your life right now is FOR you, not to you.. It happens to serve the best purpose in your life.. To make the best of you.. Have faith always since hope unto Him will not put you to shame.. Be positive and grateful since it's the key to maintain your joyful life in this very crazy world..

Put contentment in your principle's list since principle is not affected by environment or outside condition, it's a commitment, a decision that whatsoever happen, I still choose to be..............

Don't let the world make you lose your wonder.. Remember, you are amazing, just the way you are.. 

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED RIGHT NOW TO BECOME EVERYTHING YOU ARE CREATED TO BE.. 

That's all from me.

And at this very moment, I thanked Him for His constant grace that made me able to be just be who I am and grateful in every situation.

I am happy. Truly happy until words couldn't describe it..

I am able to embrace His joy in my life..

He is good.. Always will be, He is good..

To Him be the glory forever.. And ever..

Thanks Jesus.. Thank YOU..

Kind regards, Cindy

Ps : Perhaps it will be my last post since after this I will be so busy again preparing the wedding.. But I will try my best to do 1 more post to close this year..

Things That Remain The Same

19th of June 2015

Hi everyone, how are you? Busy? Or sudah mulai mempersiapkan rencana liburan untuk bulan depan? Hehhehehe.. Tidak terasa sudah pertengahan tahun lho.. Cepet banget ya waktu tidak terasa..

I’m in Indonesia at the moment, lebih tepatnya Surabaya.. 

Kemarin pada tanggal 3 Juni saya mendarat di Jakarta dah stay disana kurang lebih seminggu untuk bertemu dengan banyak vendor2 wedding.. Pada saat mau mendarat, kan pilotnya melakukan pengumuman mengenai cuaca di Jakarta.. Sampai shock guys suhu nya 33 derajat di Jakarta.. Karena pada saat berangkat dari Sydneynya, suhu disana sekitar 7 derajat.. Jadi dingin sekali.. Lalu tiba di Indonesia langsung dihajar panas terik matahari.. Sampai sekarang di Surabaya pun juga panasnya ampun.. Muka saya langsung iritasi, kering, merah2 ni sampai sekarang (T-T)

Minggu ni tanggal 19 nanti saya akan kembali ke Sydney.. Denger2 sih udara disana lebih dingin dan sekarang lagi sering hujan selama seminggu.. Moga2 nda drop badannya secara tgl 27 saya masih ada final exam nih.. 

Puji Tuhan untuk urusan vendor2 semua sudah beres tuntas akhirnyaaa.. Fiuhhhh.. Lega banget deh rasanya jadi habis ni tidak perlu terlalu banyak pikiran,hehhehe..

Sekian ya untuk introductionnya… Let’s start the blog now..

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Dibandingkan kepulangan saya yang sebelumnya, kepulangan kali ini terhitung lebih lama.. Tapi waktu di Surabayanya mungkin bisa dibilang singkat karena saya sudah menghabiskan banyak waktu di Jakarta..

Berada di Jakarta bukan berarti saya liburan lho.. Liburnya cuma hari minggu guys.. Hari lainnya jadwal saya full padat dari pagi sampe malem.. Keluar apartment jam 9 pagi, pulang jam 10an maalm.. Selalu seperti itu plus ditambah macetnya Jakarta.. Wow.. Sampe shock saya, culture shock.. Orang Jakarta kalo setir mobil luar biasa sekali, mepetnya itu lho ampunnnn.. Mulai dari becak, bemo, bajai, sepeda motor semua nyetirnya berani-berani..

Mau coba makanan2 di Jakarta yg enak2 saja tidak bisa soalnya waktunya mepet.. Makannya di restaurant terdekat dah yang penting isi perut hahahahha.. Saya ditemani mami dan mama berkelana menemui vendor-vendor.. Sehari gitu bisa bertemu 3-4 vendor dan itu berjam jam.. Apalagi vendor yg berhubungan dengan baju ya, itu paling lama dan cape sekali teman2.. 1 baju bisa beratnya itu 10-15 kg lho.. Bahkan ada 1 dress yg beratnya 20 kg.. Sampai tidak bisa jalan.. Beratnya itu haduh2.. Belum ditambah saya kan pendek tuh, harus pake heels sekitar 18 cm.. Tambah cape deh hahaha..

Percaya atau tidak, sehari saya bisa coba kurang lebih 30an baju lho dengan berat segitu.. Sampai ada 1 waktu coba baju yang kainnya berat, saya tidak bisa berdiri terus kepleset karena kainnya terinjak dari dalam ahhahahaha.. Mbaknya sampai ikut ketawa LOL..

Dari begitu banyaknya dress yang saya coba, akhirnya saya mendapatkan 3-4 dress yang akan saya pakai untuk prewed nanti.. Hooraaayyy!!

Di Jakarta, hari Minggunya, saya diajak koko pergi ke JPCC, bersama mami juga karena mama dan papi harus pulang duluan ada urusan.. Itu pertama kalinya saya ke JPCC dan ternyata rame dan besar banget ya.. Yang kotbah waktu itu adalah Ps. Jeffrey Rachmat.. Puji Tuhan bisa belajar banyak hal dari kotbah beliau..

Tanggal 9 malamnya saya tiba di Surabaya dan seperti biasa, Cianjur adalah tempat perhentian pertama untuk makan malamnya,hihihi.. Gurami gorengnya mantap abis.. Seneng banget!!!!

Saya berpikir setibanya di Surabaya, saya bisa have fun jalan bersama teman2.. Tapi ternyata tidak juga.. Harus ketemu EO, terus bertemu orang2 yang sudah dijadwalkan EOnya.. Itu sekali ktemu bisa berjam-jam juga.. Sampai waktu mendengarkan saya mengoap2 ngantuk.. Weekend kemarin baru akhirnya saya bisa pergi sebentar bersama teman2.. hehhehe..

Saya bertemu dengan teman2 lama dulu waktu SMA, bercanda dan menceritakan beberapa hal mengenai kehidupan masing2..

Setiap saya pulang ke Surabaya dan bertemu dengan teman2.. Ada saja perubahan yang saya rasakan.. Entah lah itu dari cara berpikir, cara pandang, ataupun dari cara mereka menghadapi sesuatu.. I was impressed since some of them berkembang ke arah yang lebih baik dan dewasa.. Saya semakin menyadari bahwa segala sesuatunya berubah dengan sangat cepat sekali..

ALMOST NOTHING IS CONSTANT. BUT CHANGES, YES CHANGES IS CONSTANT AND ALWAYS HAPPENING IN ONE’S LIVE..

Saya masih mengingat masa2 dimana saya remaja yang baru saja tiba di Australia untuk menimba ilmu.. Merupakan seseorang yang tidak mengerti apapun, namun 6 tahun setelah itu berlalu, by His gracious hands, He has shaped me into a better person indeed..

And now, I will get married soon.. OMG!! Sometimes I couldn’t believe it.. I never thought I will get married this young.. Berbagai ketakutan dan kekhawatiran datang, berpikir what should I do? I am still young, I still have so many things to learn.. How should I face this marriage world?

Sama halnya mengenai karir ke depan.. I am so grateful towards The Lord, how He blessed my career in Sydney.. But there’s time I got bored and want to try something new.. When I got the permission to try something new, I should be happy, right? Tapi yang terjadi adalah ketakutan itu datang lagi di sela2 kehidupan yang saya miliki.. Pemikiran seperti jika saya gagal, jika saya mengecewakan orang2 yang saya cintai, apakah yang akan terjadi jika………???

Manusia sering kali ditakutkan oleh hal-hal yang belum mereka alami yang sejujurnya belum tentu terjadi dalam hidupnya..

- I am just a normal human being and I am weak for certain areas in my life.. The big and right faith that I have sometimes can disappear as well.. Even I always say my strength comes from The Lord, my confidence comes from His words.. In my darkest time, I can be forgetful as well.. This heart is fragile..

Semua kebingungan itu, saya tanyakan dalam hati.. Mengenai kapan, mengapa, dan bagaimana.. Ketakutan yang ada dalam diri ini pun saya pertanyakan dalam doa2 yang saya panjatkan malam harinya..

Hingga dalam minggu-minggu ini, kesadaran itu datang.. Kesadaran yang setidaknya bagi saya merupakan jawaban..

Kebijaksanaan itu datang di sela kegiatan secara tidak terduga, dan tiap malam saya mengingatnya agar di saat saya menulis blog ini, saya bisa menceritakan nya kepada kalian..

Anak2 muda terkasih, changes hurt sometimes, isn’t it?

Saya beri contoh yang gampang sekali.. Jika disini (Surabaya) saya ingin pergi bersama beberapa teman dan terkadang mereka tidak bisa karena urusan pekerjaan, keluarga, bahkan karena harus pergi menemani pasangannya, terkadang dalam hati bisa sebel juga lho.. Kenapa?

KARENA DULU HAL SEPERTI ITU JARANG ATAU MUNGKIN TIDAK PERNAH TERJADI..

Pada saat saya SMP or SMA, mudah sekali rasanya mengumpulkan teman untuk pergi.. Bisa dibilang tiap weekend, pergi bersama teman itu sudah wajib hukumnya,hahahhaha..

Tapi sekarang kondisinya sudah berbeda.. Mereka memiliki kesibukan masing2.. Jadi dalam hati ini, ada sedikit rasa kehilangan..

Contoh lainnya, adalah perbedaan budaya ataupun cara pikir akan beberapa hal.. Saya yang sudah kurang lebih hidup 6 tahun di Sydney, kadang gemes sekali lho dengan kehidupan di Indonesia yang serba tidak teratur.. Terkadang ada perlakuan atau ucapan beberapa orang yang menurut saya kasar sekali dan tidak tahu tata krama..

Dulu saya tidak merasakan hal sepert itu karena saya juga hidup di Indonesia, tapi setelah melihat pola kehidupan lain yang menurut saya lebih positif, saya menjadi tidak terbiasa lagi dengan cara hidup lama seperti itu..

Ini adalah salah 1 penyebab cukup banyak orang yang kuliah di luar negri tidak mau kembali lagi ke negara asalnya..

See, you can’t postpone changes to come.. It always happen in every area of your life.. Disadari apa tidak..

Question : Dan jika segala sesuatunya berubah, sudah tidak adakah sesuatu yang pasti di dunia ini? Suatu kepastian dimana saya bisa berpegang di dalamnya..

Listen to this video ya while reading the rest..

Di suatu siang, di perjalanan saya menuju kantor imigrasi untuk memperpanjang passport, saya mendengarkan lagu di ipod.. Lagu yang sudah sering saya dengarkan.. Namun di hari itu, ada perasaan yang berbeda pada saat saya mendengarnya.. Dan dari situ saya tahu, bahwa dalam hidup yang saya miliki ini, ada 2 hal yang tetap constant.. Dari dulu hingga sekarang..

             1. HIM

-       My saviour.. The one who’s with me, bahkan di saat saya sudah tidak percaya lagi pada apapun.. Saya disini tidak berbicara mengenai bagaimana saya diberikan wisdom setiap saat ataupun diberikan jawaban atas semua pertanyaan yang saya miliki.. No, I didn’t always have it disaat saya menginginkannya.. Bahkan di saat saya merasa sangat membutuhkannya, jawaban2 itu tetaplah belum tentu datang.. Yang saya tekankan adalah HE IS THERE.. HE IS THERE.. Yang saya rasakan dan percaya adalah bagaimana dia SELALU ADA.. He’s quiet sometimes, but doesn’t mean He’s not there..

-    And this is my statement : Saya lebih membutuhkan orang yang ADA daripada orang yang memberikan beribu nasihat mengenai bagaimana seharusnya menjalani hidup ini karena jawaban dari setiap ketakutan dan permasalahan yang ada, kekuatan untuk menghadapi semua tantangan, itu bisa datang dengan sendirinya seiring dengan berjalannya waktu tanpa kalian sadari.. If not, what’s the use of brain and heart then?

·        NAMUN HAL MENGENAI KEBERADAAN, PRESENCE.. ITU ADALAH PILIHAN..

He loves me for who and what I am even before I knew HIM.. Jika 23 tahun saya hidup, tidak pernah sekalipun Ia meninggalkan, bahkan di saat saya ingin meninggalkanNya, He stays still.. Then my declaration of faith will be this : I will dwell in The House of The Lord as long as I live.. (Psalm 27 : 4A)

2.  MOM (will talk about Dad later in the next post)

-       If there’s one human being that has a similar type of Love compares to HIM, it will be MOMS.. Pasti ada alasan mengapa dikatakan surga ada di telapak kaki ibu, bukan?

-        Sebagai manusia, ada kalanya saya menginginkan dan mengharapkan ada wujud sosok secara fisik yang bisa saya lihat sebagai inspirasi, panutan, atau untuk memberikan kepada saya perasaan bahwa saya tidak sendiri.. Iman kepada sesuatu yang tidak terlihat (God, future) itu terkadang bisa lenyap dikala sesuatu yang kelihatan, seperti permasalahan, tantangan, dan sebagainya terasa lebih besar.. HE knows this really well.. Oleh karena itu, terciptalah 1 sosok yang serupa tapi tak sama dengan DIA..

-        Saya disini tidak berbicara mengenai bagaimana seorang ibu menunjukkan kasihnya karena itu bisa dengan bermacam2 cara dan ibu yang satu tidak sama dengan ibu yang lain.. Tapi kembali lagi saya berbicara mengenai hal keberadaan.. PRESENCE.. 

IN THE END IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT STAND WITH YOU ALL THIS TIME? IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME?

Inti dari ke2 hal yang ditulis di atas bukanlah mengenai HOW (bagaimana mungkin, bagaimana bisa, bagaimana caranya) or WHAT (apa yang orang lain lakukan untuk kamu, apa yang orang lain katakan kepada kamu) but it’s about WHO IS THERE FOR YOU.. THINGS THAT REMAIN THE SAME UNTIL NOW.. FULLSTOP. Hanya itu pointnya..

AND FOR ME, IT WILL BE BOTH OF THEM ALWAYS.. 

Saya tidak peduli apakah 2 pribadi itu nampak diam, nampak tidak melakukan apapun,  atau bagaimana mereka menunjukkan perhatian atau kasih sayangnya dengan cara yang unik yang terkadang mungkin tidak sesuai dengan yang saya inginkan.. Because at least, THEY ARE THERE FOR ME.. AND IT’S MORE THAN ENOUGH..

In this life, I have learnt so many things.. I got numerous understanding about how I should face this life.. And because of His goodness, I can add this wisdom to my lists :

-        PRIBADI YANG ADA, PADA AKHIRNYA AKAN LEBIH MENANG DARI SEGALA MACAM PRIBADI YANG LAIN.. 

-        PRIBADI YANG TETAP TINGGAL DI SEBELAH SAYA MESKIPUN HE/SHE HANYA DIAM DAN TIDAK MELAKUKAN APAPUN, EVEN DI SAAT SAYA DALAM KONDISI PALING TERPURUK, PADA AKHIRNYA AKAN MENANG DARI SEGALA MACAM PRIBADI YANG LAIN

Why? I have told you before that giving your presence to someone else is a choice..

And from that, bigger thing is created.. You know what is that? It’s something that higher than anything in this world.. It worth more than anything.. Only time can prove it.. You can’t buy, get, even earn it because it’s only can be given.. It gives value, encouragement, and confidence..

That thing is called LOYALTY.

* Tell me how you can attain one’s loyalty if it’s not from his/her willingness to give it to you?

Usually, people want to be loyal to someone they think worth getting it..

YET.. YET, BOTH OF THEM.. Give it to the undeserved person like me..

There was a time when :

-        I was difficult towards them..

-        I was childish..

-        Not listening to the words/advice they said..

-        I disappointed them..

-        I make them sad..

They should :

-        Ashamed of  me

-        Get tired of my continuously transgression and mistakes

-        Leave me

-        Not care of me anymore

-        Not be nice to me anymore

But what they did was/is :

-        BEING PATIENT TOWARDS ME STILL

-        GIVE ME TIME TO UNDERSTAND THINGS STILL

-        LIFT ME UP STILL

-        ENCOURAGES ME STILL

-        LOVE ME STILL

When I ask who am I to deserve this? His words said : You are the apple of My eyes.. Children of the light.. You are mine.. I know you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.. I am your greatest encourager.. I have you in the palms of My hand.. (Deuteronomy 32:10 ; 1 Thessalonians 5:5 ; Isaiah 43:1B ; Jeremiah 1:5 ; 2 Thessalonians 2 : 16-17 ; Isaiah 49:6A)

When I ask how come you’re able to put up with me? She said : You are my little daughter.. Until forever, you will always be mine.. That’s a mother love.. You will understand when you have kids later..

THAT KIND OF LOVE.. THAT KIND OF PRESENCE.. THAT KIND OF LOYALTY.. ARE THE ONE WHO SHAPE ME TO BECOME EVERYTHING I AM RIGHT NOW.. CERTAINLY BETTER THAN WHAT I USED TO BE..

I hope from reading this post, you will realize who’s there for you through this time and willing to show your gratitude feeling towards them..

No human being is perfect in this world.. And if from their imperfections, they are willing to be there for you, to give his/her presence to you to face all the season in your life, then isn’t that mean you are special for them? Then go and show your gratefulness to them..

Perbandingan terkadang selalu datang menghampiri.. Entah itu mengenai hidup siapa yang lebih baik, pasangan siapa yang lebih baik, karir siapa yang lebih baik, bahkan mengenai orang tua siapa yang lebih baik.. Individu yang kita buat sebagai perbandingan, terkadang pastilah dirasa mereka lebih baik daripada yang kita miliki saat ini..

Mengenai hal tersebut, saya hanya ingin memberitahukan hal ini.. Hidup dan karir yang kalian pikir lebih baik, terkadang tidaklah seperti yang kalian bayangkan.. Pasangan dan orang tua yang kalian pikir akan lebih menyayangi kalian, juga terkadang belum tentu akan sungguh terjadi.. 

Mungkin ada dari kalian pernah berkata 'Enaknya memiliki pasangan/orang tua seperti dia yang bisa menyayangiku dengan cara seperti itu'. Tahukah kalian bahwa jika dihadapkan pada kondisi tersulit orang-orang itu akan meninggalkan?

Jika kalian bertanya mengapa.. Jawabannya adalah karena kamu bukanlah milik kepunyaannya..

MY CREATOR LOVES AND SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR ME BECAUSE I AM HIS.. (ISAIAH 43:1B)

PENGORBANAN TERBESAR DAN TERSULIT HANYA DAPAT DILAKUKAN JIKA SESEORANG MERASA PRIBADI TERSEBUT ADALAH MILIK KEPUNYAANNYA..

* DENGAN KATA LAIN, HANYA ORANG TUAMULAH YANG AKAN RELA MENGORBANKAN SEGALANYA KARENA KAMU ADALAH KEPUNYAANNYA..

* DAN PEMBUKTIAN TERBESAR DARI PENGORBANAN TERSEBUT ADALAH DENGAN KEBERADAAN MEREKA DI SEGALA KONDISI.. MESKIPUN DENGAN CARA YANG BERBEDA DAN TERKADANG TIDAK SESUAI DENGAN YANG KITA HARAPKAN..

TAPI.. MEREKA ADA.. 

Bahkan orang tua pun tidak ada yang sempurna.. Bawalah itu dalam doa dengan iman, bahwa ketidaksempurnaan yang mereka miliki ada HANYA untuk membuat kamu menjadi lebih sempurna..

Jangan karena kenegativan yang mereka miliki, membuat kamu lupa karena siapakah kamu ada di dunia ini.. Membuat kamu lupa selama berpuluh2 tahun, siapakah yang setia ada untuk kamu.. Janganlah karena kesalahan kecil, segala kebaikan dan pengorbanan yang mereka (orang yang menyayangimu) seakan-akan lenyap dalam sekejap.. 

* There is a reason and purpose in everything that happens in one's life.. Have faith my friends.. Have that positive faith.. Keep it in your heart that in due times, GOD will shows and answer your 'WHY' questions.. 

What a joyful feeling, to appreciate someone who gives his/her loyalty to you.. And to those person whom you say thank you to, it will means the world to them.. Take initiative to say that first.. Surprise them.. And by saying that, please know that you are becoming closer to a better you..

Do not wait until something special happen then you will show your appreciation to them.. Don’t.. Instead, make time to show them.. Make time..

Sometimes, even the smallest things you do can give them the greatest joy.. 

Lastly, I am grateful..

Full of gratitude feelings toward Him and the people He surrounds me with..

Forever will be, He is good..

I thank God that until now, even in my darkest hour, I still can looking up and said : Thank you Jesus..

For You see all there was and all that will be..

Yet, you’ve set Your vast affections upon me..

Who can compare to You?

Who moves my heart the way You do?

Things come and disappear easily..

People comes and go in unpredicted time..

Beauty fades..

Ages pass 
And seasons change..

BUT ALWAYS YOU REMAIN THE SAME..

YOU REMAIN THE SAME..

To God be the glory.. Forever and ever..

- Hebrews 13 : 8 = Jesus Christ is THE SAME yesterday, today and forever.

- 2 Timothy 2 : 13A = If we are unfaithful, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL….

Regards, Cindy

My Shoe Story

Greetings everyone! How are you??

Ga kerasa setelah ini sudah bulan April lho, sudah 3 bulan di tahun ini berlalu dengan cepet banget ya,hehehe..

It's Autumn now in Sydney, which means sudah mulai dingin nih.. Hawa ngantuk sering datang menyerang, jadi enak banget buat tidur, hohooho..

Sudah musim assignment juga di skul nih.. Pelajaran di semester ini lebih susah dari tahun lalu.. However, guru untuk 2 core subject yang saya ambil, tidak terlalu pandai dalam mengajar teman2.. (T-T).. Yang 1nya hanya membaca power point seperti membaca berita, tidak menerangkan apapun.. Yang 1nya lagi lebih bercerita soal sejarah pengalaman kerjanya,huhuhu.. Jadi harus lebih berusaha sendiri nih mencari material untuk tugas maupun test..

Dari 3 minggu lalu, saya sebenarnya sudah mau menulis post baru.. Cuma seperti biasa, karena banyaknya kegiatan disini, akhirnya pending terus deh.. Baru sekarang setelah assignment saya sudah kumpul semua, akhirnya punya waktu luang sejenak untuk menulis blog..

Also, I wanna say Happy Passover to all of you who celebrate it.. Mungkin nanti pas hari Paskahnya sendiri, saya tidak akan mengupdate blog, jadi I think it's better to say it early hehehhe.. :)

Enjoyy the post guys... :)
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3 minggu lalu, pada saat ingin menulis post terbaru, saya sempat tidak ada ide sama sekali..

Di apartemen, saya hanya duduk diam dan melihat sekeliling..

Tidak tahu kenapa perhatian saya saat itu terpaku pada salah satu sepatu..

Yes my shoe.. You perhaps find the title's quite odd.. But that's what I want to write about in this post.. About my 1st shoe..

Saya kemudian mengambil sepatu itu dan menatapnya dari jarak dekat..

Bagian depan sepatu itu berwarna putih,, Karena sudah saya gunakan jalan berkali-kali, terdapat cukup banyak goresan di sekelilingnya (mungkin kalau di foto tidak terlihat begtitu jelas).. Saya coba mengusapnya dengan tisu basah berkali-kali, namun tetap tidak bisa hilang..

And at that time, suddenly, I remember the history of this shoe of mine.. I found it so funny most times, how inspiration could come in such an unexpected way...

I remember....

This is my 1st shoe which I bought with my own money, the 1st time I received my salary by working here, in Sydney..

Seluruh ingatan itu kembali dengan jelas..

Tahun 2009 bulan September..

Pertama kali saya tiba di Sydney, saya sama sekali tidak punya sepatu ket.. Semua sepatu yang saya bawa, ada heelsnya paling tidak sedikit.. Di Sydney, kamu akan banyak sekali berjalan daripada menggunakan pilihan transportasi lainnya.. Dan melihat teman2 saya yang lain, mereka juga menyarankan agar paling tidak saya punya 1 sepatu ket yang nyaman yang bisa digunakan untuk berjalan lama..

Pada waktu itu, sepatu ket yg lagi hits disini adalah Converse.. Jadi tentu saja dong saya berpikir jika nanti saya sudah gajian, saya mau coba bilang mami ah misalnya mau beli sepatu boleh apa tidak..

Lalu tiba saatnya gaji pertama ditransfer ke rekening bank yang saya miliki disini.. Straight away at that time, what came 1st in my mind was, 'Ah.. I need to go to Converse store to buy a comfy shoes for walking'. Mami pun sudah mengijinkannya kalau itu memang penting untuk saya.. Di hari off, ditemani oleh seorang teman yang sudah biasa mengenakan Converse, saya pergi ke toko sepatu tersebut..

Pilihan model dan warnanya banyak sekali.. Karena saya tidak terlalu mengerti mana yang harus dipilih, teman saya akhirnya membantu menanyakan pada salah 1 pegawai disana, dari sekian banyaknya pilihan ini, manakah yang merupakan model terbaru..

The employee pointed 1 shoe in the corner.. He took it, showed it to us while saying, 'This is the newest one.. It came in 2 colors, white and black'. The 1st time I saw it, I like it! In fact, me and my friend both like it.. Luckily she preferred the white one since I like the black one.. So, each of us bought one and brought it home..

I still remember the price which was $99.95... Itu adalah pertama kalinya saya menghabiskan uang sebanyak itu untuk sepatu dan dengan gaji pertama saya.. So personally, dunno why, but I was quite proud I could buy shoe with my own money,hehehhe..

Sesampainya di rumah, saya membuka kotak Converse tersebut.. Melihat dan mengambil sepatu tersebut.. Believe me or not, I adore that shoe so much at time.. Hanya dengan melihat sepatu itu, saya bisa tersenyum2 sendiri.. I was so happy dan tidak sabar mengenakannya mulai besok..

Keesokan harinya, saya menggunakan sepatu itu seharian.. After finish wearing it, at home, I always wipe and clean it with wet cloth, especially the white part at the front.. Dan saya melakukannya bukan karena keharusan atau terpaksa, tapi karena saya mau.. Saya ingin agar sepatu itu selalu terlihat indah dan bersih pada saat saya mengenakannya..

* Because that shoe had special meaning and important to me, I wanted to took a good care of it..

Selama berbulan-bulan saya melakukannya.. Sampai ada waktunya flatmate saya bertanya dengan nada heran 'What are you doing?' .. I answered her back, 'I am wiping my shoe'. LOL..

Namun seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, kesibukan dan kegiatan saya semakin bertambah.. Puji Tuhan, karir saya disini pun mengalami peningkatan.. Membuat saya bisa semakin membeli hal-hal yang saya inginkan, such as new clothes and of course, new shoes as well..

Suatu ketika, ada saat dimana saya pindah apartment.. Pada saat seluruh barang2 saya tiba di apartment yang baru , saya membongkar dan membuka satu persatu kotak sepatu untuk meletakannya di rak sepatu..

Then, I saw 1 converse box.. I grabbed and opened it.. That shoe was laying there, still in a good condition.. Saya mengambilnya, mencoba mengingat kapan terakhir kali saya mengenakan sepatu ini but truly I couldn't remember.. I keep wondering when and when but still couldn't find the answer.. Lalu saya memutuskan untuk meletakkan sepatu tersebut di salah 1 space yang paling gampang dilihat di rak sepatu, agar saya tidak lupa untuk mengenakannya lagi..

Dan cara tersebut berhasil.. Saya cukup sering mengenakan sepatu itu lagi. It still comfy btw, heheheh.. Jadi jika saya harus berjalan cukup lama dan jauh, saya biasanya menggunakan sepatu converse tersebut..

Tapi ada 1 hal yang berbeda.. Yang baru saja saya sadari dan ingat setidaknya berbulan-bulan yang lalu..

* Since I live in the new apartment, since my life is raised to a higher level, since I become more successful and can get other things that I want.. Never again, never again I found myself wipe or cleaned that shoe anymore..

For me, that shoe is a normal shoe.. It's a thing that I use to walk, that's it.. I didn't adore it anymore like I used to be.. In fact, I adore any other shoes that LOOKS more beautiful, even I don't know if it will be as convenient as my Converse or not..

When I realized this, at my apartment, I took my Converse shoe.. Selama berjam-jam, saya berusaha membersihkan noda itu dengan tissue basah.. Berusaha menghilangkan goresan yang ada di bagian putih tersebut.. Bahkan sempat saya menggunakan pembersih sepatu..

Tapi hasilnya tetap sama, noda itu sudah tidak bisa hilang.. Mungkin karena itu sudah menempel disitu dalam waktu yang sangat lama..

I was quite sad.. Especially when I remember how I took care of it before, now it's pointless.. Part of me was disappointed toward myself.. How could I forget this shoe? The 1 shoe that marked my 1st journey in this country..

Lalu saya berkata kepada diri sendiri, bahwa saya tidak ingin hal ini terjadi kepada sepatu2 saya yang lain..

I have my own bedroom here.. Di bagian ujung kamar saya, saya meletakkan sepatu-sepatu yang bisa dibilang sangatlah sering saya pakai untuk kegiatan sehari-hari.. Saya sengaja meletakannya di kamar.. That converse shoe, I also put it there..

Sekarang, di sela kesibukan saya disini, paling tidak dalam seminggu or 2 minggu sekali, saya selalu menyempatkan membersihkannya satu persatu.. Thanks God sampai hari ini semuanya masih dalam kondisi yang baik-baik saja.. :) Moga2 bisa seperti itu terus ya hoohoho.. (Amin!!)

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Now, can you guess what's the lesson from the story? Can you relate it with our life?

This is the lesson : We, human is really good in 1 thing.. Without anyone teaches us, still, we are really good in this thing..

Guess what? It is TAKING THINGS OR PERHAPS SOMEONE FOR GRANTED.....

Let me give you some examples from my life.. Long time go......

- Because I know my mom will always look for me, I never look for her before..

- Because I know everyone in my family loves me, I never apologize to them if I did a mistake..

- Because I believe tomorrow is always there, I didn't feel a must to say thank you to the people that help me..

- Because my life is busy, I didn't feel it's necessary to give time to people I love.. If he/she loves me, certainly they will understand..

- Because I can gain all better things that I want, why should I pay attention to the 1 old shoe?

- Because I know my Creator loves me deeply, even if I made mistake, He will forgive me anyway..

- Because I know my dad will always be there for me, I think I can say 'I love you' when I think the time is right.. Besides, he's not going anywhere.. 

This "I CAN DO IT LATER" things, almost ruined me..

And the only thing that can change my mind about this is :

* When I answer everything in my life, things that I should do with "I CAN DO IT LATER", HE taught and replied me back with : "WHAT IF ........?".

- What if something happen to my mom? Didn't I regret the chance I have to look for her?

- What if something happen to 1 of my family member and I still haven't say sorry if I did something that hurt THEM? Didn't I will be burden by it later?

- What if tomorrow never comes? Who can guess when is the last day you will be in this world? Didn't I regret the chance to say thank you to them as appreciation?

- What if you always getting busier and busier each day? Won't you regret not giving much time to your loved ones?

- What if the times of your judgement day finally come and all you're doing until now is taking His love for granted?

- What if your dad is not always there for you? Won't you regret the opportunity to say I love you? Because for me, that's my biggest regret until this time.. If only I knew he's not gonna be with me forever, certainly I will say 'I love you' to him everyday in my life.. Even if I always say 'I love you I love you' now, it's already pointless.. He's gone and wouldn't come back to me..

* You know what's one of the reason people can take things or someone for granted?
- Adalah karena mereka belum pernah atau belum mengalami rasa sakit atau kehilangan akibat perginya seseorang yang sungguh berati atau disayangi, yang sungguh tidak akan pernah kembali, apapun yang kalian lakukan untuk mengubahnya..

I heard a lot people say : 'You will know how much it means to you after you lose it'.

That's right, but after God gave me the biggest lesson of it, when I lose my dad, I think that words are somehow stupid..

- Why you will know the value of a thing or a person AFTER you lose it? Can't you see their value when you have them with you? Or actually once again, you take them for granted : You always know what you have, you'd just never think you will lose it.. Do you?

The right words should be : Don't wait until you lose it, to know how valuable those things/persons to you.. Love them with the best of you while you still have them..

The other point that you can get from this story is :
- DO NOT COMPARE your shoe to another.. Or in other words, do not compare your life with other human being.. You don't know their life.. You never walked on their shoes..

- If they are happy, doesn't mean they never experience sadness..

- If they are bright whenever you see them, doesn't mean they didn't cry in their own bedroom when they're alone..

- If they are so successful in this life, doesn't mean they didn't walk through hardship to achieve that..

You don't know the story behind every human's face.. Each person has their own story.. Thus you have no right to judge them based on how they look like to you..

THE BEST IS TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW WITH FAITH THAT IT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU.. 

EVEN IF YOU THINK THEIR LIFE IS BETTER, BUT IF YOU WALK IN THEIR SHOE, PERHAPS IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS YOU IMAGINE THEM TO BE..

I am not perfect in every way.. I am forgetful and sometimes, my occupation and other activities make me so busy that I forget so many things that I shouldn't.. For instance, what happen with my Converse shoe is just small example how forgetful I am..

Human sometimes forget things.. Their priority can change easily as time goes by.. And I don't say you can't change your priority the way you want them to be..

In fact you can do whatever you want.. I just want to encourage you to put your priority's order wisely..

Maybe this question can help you as it helps me :

* WHO IS THE PEOPLE OR WHAT THINGS THAT ITS PRESENCE WILL YOU MISS THE MOST WHEN THEY AREN'T BESIDE YOU, EVEN ONLY FOR A WHILE?

I asked that question to myself and my answer till this time is the same :

No.1 will always be my savior God, Jesus Christ..
No.2 will always be my family, plus his family now..
No.3 will always be my closest friends, wherever they are..
No.4,5,6,7,etc, the order can change based on the condition..

BUT THE TOP 3 WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME..

Saya cukup lega bahwa goresan yang tidak bisa hilang itu terjadi pada sepatu saya.. I am sad, but if it's happen to my heart or to people I love, I will be sadden even more..

The fact is :

REPLACING SOMEONE IS FAR MORE DIFFICULT THAN REPLACING AN OBJECT.. OR PERHAPS YOU CAN'T SUBSTITUTE ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER.. BECAUSE WHAT MATTER IS HOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO YOU WHICH CAN'T BE SUBSTITUTE WITH OTHER INDIVIDUAL OR THINGS IN THIS WORLD..

IF THERE IS AN OBJECT THAT TRULY CAN'T BE EXCHANGE OR IMITATE, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE 'THE BEHIND THE SCENE' STORY ABOUT WHO GIVES THAT TO YOU, OR HOW YOU GET THAT ITEM, IN OTHER WORDS : THE SACRIFICE YOU DO TO OWN IT.. NOT BECAUSE THE WORTH OF THE ITEM ITSELF..

In the end,

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT STAND WITH YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE WHO SACRIFICE THEIR NEEDS FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ALWAYS WHO'S THE ONE THAT TRUST YOU STILL UNTIL THIS TIME?

I know I couldn't bear to lose any other human being again like how I lose my dad without me trying the best to make him know how much I love him..

That's why if I have spare time, not only wiping shoes and cleaning other things(LOL), I texted, whatsapp, line, BBM every single person that has significant part in my life.. If they are in Sydney, I ask them to have brunch with me, watching movie or have dinner together..

Even it's only how are you or just simple good morning or night, or saying happy Sunday, have a nice day, I will do it.. I want them to know how they are special and how I remember them.. Sometimes, I called my mom and my closest friends even if it's just 30 seconds or 1 minute chit chat..

MY FRIEND, TAKE INITIATIVE.. MAKE THE 1ST MOVE.. DON'T JUST WAIT..

* FOR ME, GOOD, GREAT, BEST THINGS COME TO THE ONE WHO NOT ONLY WAIT, BUT MAKE EFFORTS TOWARD IT..

Make sure the special people of yours know that they are special or loved by you..

I don't want you to have the same experience like mine until you understand this.. Let's remind each other.. Let's build each other..

* If you still can't change the world at the moment, surely you can change the small world near you by becoming the light that gives and show love, right?

Remember :

1. SOMETIMES, WORDS CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD UNTIL IT'S SPOKEN.. 

2. DO NOT ASSUME 'THEY SURELY KNOW FROM MY ACTION'. YES ACTION IS IMPORTANT, BUT DOES NOT MEAN WORDS ARE LESS ESSENTIAL ALSO..

Even Jesus acknowledge the power of words.. Bible said :

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) : Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 16:24 (ESV) : Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Lastly, to close this, I wanna tell you the most irreplaceable gift that you can give to others :

TIME.. YES, IT'S TIME.. 

WHY? 

1. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUY TIMES.. YOU ONLY CAN GIVE TIME SINCE TIME ITSELF IS A GIFT TO YOU FROM OUR CREATOR.. 

2. ALSO, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE IT ONLY ACCORDING TO THE TIME HE HAS GIVEN YOU TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD.. 

SO IF IT'S THE CREATOR HIMSELF THE ONE WHO GIVE THAT GIFT TO YOU, IT IS CERTAINLY THE BEST THING YOU CAN GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE..


+ TREASURE THE MOMENTS YOU HAVE SO IT CAN BE A GREAT MEMORY...

+ NOONE CAN STOP DEATH TO COME, SO MAKE SURE YOU'VE DONE YOUR BEST TO APPRECIATE THE LOVE YOU'VE RECEIVED FROM OTHERS, ESPECIALLY YOUR PARENTS..

+ HOW IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES? ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T REGRET ANYTHING?

+ THEY SAID OPPORTUNITY IS ALWAYS THERE... BUT THEY FORGET TO TELL YOU THAT CHANCES AREN'T..

+ MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE..

+ DON'T COMPARE IT TO OTHERS, AND BE GRATEFUL WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AT THIS VERY MOMENT BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST THING YOU SHOULD AND NEED TO HAVE TO BECOME EVERYTHING HE CREATES YOU TO BE..


++ NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO GIVE YOUR GIFT OF TIME.. BECAUSE GIFTS ARE FOR PRESENT, NOT LATER.. 
(GIFT = PRESENT)


Praise be to Him always who inspire me to become a better person day by day..

Regards, Cindy

End of 2014, beginning of 2015

Hi everyone!!!

Firstly, I wanna greeting you all with HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Hopefully this year is a better year ya.. I know it's 2 months late already and I'm sorry for it.. But better late than never right? Hehehhe..

Sejak kepulangan saya ke Indo hingga sekarang, ada saja banyak hal yang harus dikerjakan.. I thought I could at least wrote a new post at night but the result was : I was too exhausted.. Jadi setiap sampai rumah, saya cuma buka laptop sebentar untuk check email dll lalu langsung tertidur..

Jadi disini, saya mau memberikan sedikit update mengenai apa yang terjadi di bulan2 terakhir saya di tahun 2014 kemarin..

Enjoy reading guys :)
_______________________________

I'm gonna share the good news that some of you perhaps knew already :

Guess what??? I GOT ENGAGED!!!!!!! :)

Kepulangan saya December kemarin ini termasuk yang paling lama jika dibandingkan dengan liburan2 saya ke Indonesia sebelumya..

From my university, liburnya sendiri saja sebenarnya dari December-akhir February lho.. Tapi karena saya tidak bisa terlalu lama meniggalkan Sydney dikarenakan pekerjaan juga, akhirnya awal February saya memutuskan untuk kembali terlebih dahulu..

Selama di Surabaya, banyak sekali hal-hal yang harus saya persiapkan untuk mengurus acara engagement tersebut.. Namun puji Tuhan berkat bantuan keluarga, khususnya mami of course dan pihak2 lainnya, acara tersebut akhirnya berjalan dengan lancar dari awal sampai akhir..

Mami sudah membantu menguruskan berbulan2 sebelum kepulangan saya ke Surabaya.. Namun I told her that I will make every decision.. Jadi sehari setelah saya mendarat di Sby, hari2 saya langsung dipenuhi bertemu dengan orang2 decor, kue, EO, baju, dan banyak lainnya..

Untuk dekornya sendiri, saya diberikan banyak sekali pilihan, tapi semua tidak ada yang cocok.. Saya tidak mau acara engagement tersebut terkesan sangat 'chinese'. I want it to be simple, yet classy n modern..

Saya bersyukur sekali mami dan mama Aris memberikan saya kebebasan untuk menentukan decor yang saya mau.. So, months before I got back to Surabaya, I did some researches.. Dan ketika saya bertemu dengan orang decornya, saya mengajukan design yang saya mau.. Design itu sendiri tidak pernah dipake oleh orang di Surabaya sebelumnya..

Warna themes dari engagement itu sendiri bukanlah merah seperti orang pada umumnya.. Awalnya, saya tidak ingin sama sekali menggunakan warna yang ada unsur merahnya.. I didn't like it.. Tapi mereka berkata bahwa paling tidak harus ada sedikit.. Jadi akhirnya diputuskan untuk menggunakan warna pink yang muda sekali, dikombinasikan dengan warna biru yang juga sangat muda..

About my dress, coba tebak apa warna yang saya inginkan hayo,hahahaha.. Tidak tahu kenapa, saya ingin sekali menggunakan warna kuning.. YES, IT'S YELLOW!! LOL.. Thankfully, untuk urusan dress, saya juga dibebaskan untuk menggunakan warna yang saya inginkan..

Tapi setelah berputar2 selama berhari2 di Surabaya, I couldn't find any yellow dress that I like.. Sebenarnya mau berencana untuk membuat dress baru, tapi karena waktunya sudah tidak cukup, akhirnya diputuskan untuk menyewa, dengan model yang dicustomized..

And you know guys, milih dress 1 aja , sulitnya itu ampun dah hahahaha.. Perhaps you girls know what I mean.. So many pretty dresses yang ditawarkan kepada saya, jadi bingung banget.. Mami sendiri juga ikut bingung, jadi akhirnya semakin puyeng dah.. Bisa berjam2 untuk mencoba dress- dress itu.. Pakai lepas, coba lagi dilepas lagi, begitu seterusnya..

Sampai akhirnya ada 1 dress ini yang saya suka yang sebenarnya belum diliris keluar.. But unfortunately, the color is dark green.. Menurut saya sebenarnya tidak apa2, tapi menurut mami dan pihak dekor serta EOnya, warna tersebut tidak cocok dengan konsep pestanya.. But I like it so much since the 1st time I saw that dress..

Jadi sedikit memaksa deh untuk menggunakan baju itu hahahahha.. Tapi mami bilang lagi kalau warnanya kurang cocok, kalau dari modelnya sebenarnya bagus2 saja, tidak masalah.. Setelah berhari-hari memikirkan hal tersebut, sempat cukup sedih juga kalau tidak bisa menggunakannya, akhirnya muncullah 1 dress yang sama persis dengan dress yang saya suka tersebut, hanya saja, kali ini warnanya PEACH..

Saya coba baju tersebut dan mami bilang jauh lebih cocok kalau saya menggunakan warna ini karena masih masuk dengan konsep pestanya dan juga lebih cocok dengan warna kulit saya.. Supaya tidak kebingungan terus menerus, akhirnya saya menjatuhkan pilihan pada dress tersebut deh hehehe.. :) Keputusan soal dress ini adalah keputusan terakhir yang harus saya buat yang berkaitan dengan pesta pertunangan nanti.. Jadi, finally, selesailah sudah semuanya..

Pada saat hari semakin dekat, saya sering bertanya kepada diri sendiri kenapa ya tidak ndredeg sama sekali.. Biasanya kalau di film2 kan pihak perempuannya juga grogi, tapi saya tidak.. Malah yang kelihatan ndredeg justru mami,hahhaha.. :D

Namun 10 hari sebelum hari H itu sendiri, tidak tahu mengapa, saya jadi sering sekali uring2an di rumah dan itu sebenarnya tidak ada alasan yang benar2 masuk di akal.. Mami dan Aris kena getahnya semua,hahahhaha.. Merasa bersalah deh kalau ingat2 lagi..

Tiap hari saya ngomel terus dengan alasan2 yang aneh bin ajaib.. Sampai mami bilang kalau saya ni mengada-ngada hal yang sebenarnya tidak ada plus hormon saya yang katanya mungkin jadi semakin labil karena harinya semakin dekat.. Saya sering membuat ada kekhawatiran yang seharusnya sama sekali tidak ada, bahkan tidak perlu dikhawatirkan.. Alhasil sejak hari itu sampai 1 hari sebelum hari H, tiap malam mami mengajak doa bersama supaya saya menjadi tenang..

• Jam 12 malam, sebelum pergantian ke hari H yaitu 18 January 2015.. I could felt my nervousness.. All the memories came back when I first met him.. Never have I imagined, I'm gonna be with him.. Many people perhaps didn't know when I knew this guy, when I became in a relationship and how came I said yes when he proposed to me....

• I admit I didn't go public with our relationship.. And I have my own reasons why.. But it doesn't mean I am ashamed of him like what others always think of.. No.. Absolutely No..

• I am proud of him.. I am proud and love him deeply.. My way of showing my affection to him is perhaps old fashioned compare to what young people do to their lovers nowadays.. Even it's different, it doesn't mean that I love him less..

• He's not perfect and I'm not perfect either.. From our imperfections, we learn to appreciate each other.. From our imperfections, we learn to grow together.. And most importantly, from our imperfections, we can learn together how to be glorify Him together with our own ways..

• There was a time when I was afraid.. Afraid of heartbreaking.. But because of him, I learnt that you need to take one step at a time as well in a relationship.. Not pushing other to become what you want them to be, but ACCEPTING their imperfectness..

• He didn't realize it, but he had taught me a lot of things and I am so grateful of it until today.. 

I AM AMAZED.. HOW GOD CAN SEND AN INDIVIDUAL, 1 SINGLE PERSON, BEYOND YOUR EXPECTATION, THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR WORLD FOREVER.. A PARTNER THAT CAN STAND BY YOUR SIDE.. AND THE BEST PART IS : THAT MIRACLE COMES WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF IT.. IT'S A SURPRISE GIFT..

At that night, I thanked God for all the disappointment experiences in the past.. Because of that history, I am become at least more mature in 1 area in my life.. Because of that history, I can treasure what I have now..

I told Him, 'Tomorrow is the day Lord.. Be with me, be with me.. Hopefully besok semua dapat berjalan dengan lancar ya'....

And praise to Him always, that day, everything went so smooth..

If I tell you all the story here, perhaps you're gonna be bored reading it hahahha.. Thus, I will show you the glimpse of my e-party..

The point is, at this very moment, I am happy.. I am happy and thankful towards everything in my life..

- It doesn't mean my life is perfect..

- It doesn't mean I don't have any tribulation in my life..

- It doesn't mean everything in my life is good..

- It doesn't mean I have a perfect relationship with him..

- It doesn't mean I always get what I want..

- And it certainly doesn't mean I have nothing to worry about..

NO.. Because the fact is just the contrary to what I said..

- My life is not perfect

- I do have a lot of tribulations in my life..

- My life isn't always good

- I don't have perfect relationship with him.. Sometimes, we argue and misunderstood things..

- I don't always get what I want..

- And I surely have tons of things to be worried about..

REGARDLESS.. REGARDLESS what's going on in my life, every night when I close my eyes before sleep, I smiled, looking up, saying.. 'Thanks Jesus, praise be to God always.. And when I'm boast, always will be, for The Lord's glory'. 

___________________________

For you my friends, perhaps you are in the middle of waiting for something.. A job, a breakthrough, a chance, or a partner..

I can't tell you the reason why you need to wait since I don't know.. If only I knew, surely I will let you know..

But, this is what I know : 

* BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW, WE START TO DEVELOP FAITH.. BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW, WE START TO HAVE A SURRENDER HEART.. TOWARDS THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING..

All I can say is, do not lose hope.. since that hope will not put us to shame... (Romans 5:5A)

Wait patiently in The Lord.. Delight in Him.. In the appointed time, He will give you what your heart desires as long as it's align with His purpose in you..

Take heart.. Stand firm.. Make the most of your time now and be grateful of each moment..

Remember THERE IS A TIME IN EVERYTHING..

And I just read my friend's blog that inspired me..

2 Corinthians 4:8 (MSG) : We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; .

Stay firm on your faith.. He knows what to do.. We may not know what our future looks like, but we certainly know WHO holds our future..

To close this post, I have 1 more happy news to be shared..

MY PROJECT IS DONE!! IT IS DONE!! I AM SUPER DUPER HAPPY!! LATER , I WILL SHARE IT WITH YOU YA :):)

So overall, 2014 was a very good year for me.. Even I had a lot of ups and down in that year, I still consider it as an amazing year.. The ups taught me to be grateful, the downs taught me to have faith and perseverance.. See, God is so good lho :)

2015? Hmmm.. Of course I believe it will be a BETTER year for me and absolutely for you! Keep the faith ya guys.. THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY 2015!!!!

See you soon again in another post.... And guys, today is my 1st day of school again.. Wohoo!! Wish me luck! :)

Kind regards, Cindy