My Shoe Story

Greetings everyone! How are you??

Ga kerasa setelah ini sudah bulan April lho, sudah 3 bulan di tahun ini berlalu dengan cepet banget ya,hehehe..

It's Autumn now in Sydney, which means sudah mulai dingin nih.. Hawa ngantuk sering datang menyerang, jadi enak banget buat tidur, hohooho..

Sudah musim assignment juga di skul nih.. Pelajaran di semester ini lebih susah dari tahun lalu.. However, guru untuk 2 core subject yang saya ambil, tidak terlalu pandai dalam mengajar teman2.. (T-T).. Yang 1nya hanya membaca power point seperti membaca berita, tidak menerangkan apapun.. Yang 1nya lagi lebih bercerita soal sejarah pengalaman kerjanya,huhuhu.. Jadi harus lebih berusaha sendiri nih mencari material untuk tugas maupun test..

Dari 3 minggu lalu, saya sebenarnya sudah mau menulis post baru.. Cuma seperti biasa, karena banyaknya kegiatan disini, akhirnya pending terus deh.. Baru sekarang setelah assignment saya sudah kumpul semua, akhirnya punya waktu luang sejenak untuk menulis blog..

Also, I wanna say Happy Passover to all of you who celebrate it.. Mungkin nanti pas hari Paskahnya sendiri, saya tidak akan mengupdate blog, jadi I think it's better to say it early hehehhe.. :)

Enjoyy the post guys... :)
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3 minggu lalu, pada saat ingin menulis post terbaru, saya sempat tidak ada ide sama sekali..

Di apartemen, saya hanya duduk diam dan melihat sekeliling..

Tidak tahu kenapa perhatian saya saat itu terpaku pada salah satu sepatu..

Yes my shoe.. You perhaps find the title's quite odd.. But that's what I want to write about in this post.. About my 1st shoe..

Saya kemudian mengambil sepatu itu dan menatapnya dari jarak dekat..

Bagian depan sepatu itu berwarna putih,, Karena sudah saya gunakan jalan berkali-kali, terdapat cukup banyak goresan di sekelilingnya (mungkin kalau di foto tidak terlihat begtitu jelas).. Saya coba mengusapnya dengan tisu basah berkali-kali, namun tetap tidak bisa hilang..

And at that time, suddenly, I remember the history of this shoe of mine.. I found it so funny most times, how inspiration could come in such an unexpected way...

I remember....

This is my 1st shoe which I bought with my own money, the 1st time I received my salary by working here, in Sydney..

Seluruh ingatan itu kembali dengan jelas..

Tahun 2009 bulan September..

Pertama kali saya tiba di Sydney, saya sama sekali tidak punya sepatu ket.. Semua sepatu yang saya bawa, ada heelsnya paling tidak sedikit.. Di Sydney, kamu akan banyak sekali berjalan daripada menggunakan pilihan transportasi lainnya.. Dan melihat teman2 saya yang lain, mereka juga menyarankan agar paling tidak saya punya 1 sepatu ket yang nyaman yang bisa digunakan untuk berjalan lama..

Pada waktu itu, sepatu ket yg lagi hits disini adalah Converse.. Jadi tentu saja dong saya berpikir jika nanti saya sudah gajian, saya mau coba bilang mami ah misalnya mau beli sepatu boleh apa tidak..

Lalu tiba saatnya gaji pertama ditransfer ke rekening bank yang saya miliki disini.. Straight away at that time, what came 1st in my mind was, 'Ah.. I need to go to Converse store to buy a comfy shoes for walking'. Mami pun sudah mengijinkannya kalau itu memang penting untuk saya.. Di hari off, ditemani oleh seorang teman yang sudah biasa mengenakan Converse, saya pergi ke toko sepatu tersebut..

Pilihan model dan warnanya banyak sekali.. Karena saya tidak terlalu mengerti mana yang harus dipilih, teman saya akhirnya membantu menanyakan pada salah 1 pegawai disana, dari sekian banyaknya pilihan ini, manakah yang merupakan model terbaru..

The employee pointed 1 shoe in the corner.. He took it, showed it to us while saying, 'This is the newest one.. It came in 2 colors, white and black'. The 1st time I saw it, I like it! In fact, me and my friend both like it.. Luckily she preferred the white one since I like the black one.. So, each of us bought one and brought it home..

I still remember the price which was $99.95... Itu adalah pertama kalinya saya menghabiskan uang sebanyak itu untuk sepatu dan dengan gaji pertama saya.. So personally, dunno why, but I was quite proud I could buy shoe with my own money,hehehhe..

Sesampainya di rumah, saya membuka kotak Converse tersebut.. Melihat dan mengambil sepatu tersebut.. Believe me or not, I adore that shoe so much at time.. Hanya dengan melihat sepatu itu, saya bisa tersenyum2 sendiri.. I was so happy dan tidak sabar mengenakannya mulai besok..

Keesokan harinya, saya menggunakan sepatu itu seharian.. After finish wearing it, at home, I always wipe and clean it with wet cloth, especially the white part at the front.. Dan saya melakukannya bukan karena keharusan atau terpaksa, tapi karena saya mau.. Saya ingin agar sepatu itu selalu terlihat indah dan bersih pada saat saya mengenakannya..

* Because that shoe had special meaning and important to me, I wanted to took a good care of it..

Selama berbulan-bulan saya melakukannya.. Sampai ada waktunya flatmate saya bertanya dengan nada heran 'What are you doing?' .. I answered her back, 'I am wiping my shoe'. LOL..

Namun seiring dengan berjalannya waktu, kesibukan dan kegiatan saya semakin bertambah.. Puji Tuhan, karir saya disini pun mengalami peningkatan.. Membuat saya bisa semakin membeli hal-hal yang saya inginkan, such as new clothes and of course, new shoes as well..

Suatu ketika, ada saat dimana saya pindah apartment.. Pada saat seluruh barang2 saya tiba di apartment yang baru , saya membongkar dan membuka satu persatu kotak sepatu untuk meletakannya di rak sepatu..

Then, I saw 1 converse box.. I grabbed and opened it.. That shoe was laying there, still in a good condition.. Saya mengambilnya, mencoba mengingat kapan terakhir kali saya mengenakan sepatu ini but truly I couldn't remember.. I keep wondering when and when but still couldn't find the answer.. Lalu saya memutuskan untuk meletakkan sepatu tersebut di salah 1 space yang paling gampang dilihat di rak sepatu, agar saya tidak lupa untuk mengenakannya lagi..

Dan cara tersebut berhasil.. Saya cukup sering mengenakan sepatu itu lagi. It still comfy btw, heheheh.. Jadi jika saya harus berjalan cukup lama dan jauh, saya biasanya menggunakan sepatu converse tersebut..

Tapi ada 1 hal yang berbeda.. Yang baru saja saya sadari dan ingat setidaknya berbulan-bulan yang lalu..

* Since I live in the new apartment, since my life is raised to a higher level, since I become more successful and can get other things that I want.. Never again, never again I found myself wipe or cleaned that shoe anymore..

For me, that shoe is a normal shoe.. It's a thing that I use to walk, that's it.. I didn't adore it anymore like I used to be.. In fact, I adore any other shoes that LOOKS more beautiful, even I don't know if it will be as convenient as my Converse or not..

When I realized this, at my apartment, I took my Converse shoe.. Selama berjam-jam, saya berusaha membersihkan noda itu dengan tissue basah.. Berusaha menghilangkan goresan yang ada di bagian putih tersebut.. Bahkan sempat saya menggunakan pembersih sepatu..

Tapi hasilnya tetap sama, noda itu sudah tidak bisa hilang.. Mungkin karena itu sudah menempel disitu dalam waktu yang sangat lama..

I was quite sad.. Especially when I remember how I took care of it before, now it's pointless.. Part of me was disappointed toward myself.. How could I forget this shoe? The 1 shoe that marked my 1st journey in this country..

Lalu saya berkata kepada diri sendiri, bahwa saya tidak ingin hal ini terjadi kepada sepatu2 saya yang lain..

I have my own bedroom here.. Di bagian ujung kamar saya, saya meletakkan sepatu-sepatu yang bisa dibilang sangatlah sering saya pakai untuk kegiatan sehari-hari.. Saya sengaja meletakannya di kamar.. That converse shoe, I also put it there..

Sekarang, di sela kesibukan saya disini, paling tidak dalam seminggu or 2 minggu sekali, saya selalu menyempatkan membersihkannya satu persatu.. Thanks God sampai hari ini semuanya masih dalam kondisi yang baik-baik saja.. :) Moga2 bisa seperti itu terus ya hoohoho.. (Amin!!)

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Now, can you guess what's the lesson from the story? Can you relate it with our life?

This is the lesson : We, human is really good in 1 thing.. Without anyone teaches us, still, we are really good in this thing..

Guess what? It is TAKING THINGS OR PERHAPS SOMEONE FOR GRANTED.....

Let me give you some examples from my life.. Long time go......

- Because I know my mom will always look for me, I never look for her before..

- Because I know everyone in my family loves me, I never apologize to them if I did a mistake..

- Because I believe tomorrow is always there, I didn't feel a must to say thank you to the people that help me..

- Because my life is busy, I didn't feel it's necessary to give time to people I love.. If he/she loves me, certainly they will understand..

- Because I can gain all better things that I want, why should I pay attention to the 1 old shoe?

- Because I know my Creator loves me deeply, even if I made mistake, He will forgive me anyway..

- Because I know my dad will always be there for me, I think I can say 'I love you' when I think the time is right.. Besides, he's not going anywhere.. 

This "I CAN DO IT LATER" things, almost ruined me..

And the only thing that can change my mind about this is :

* When I answer everything in my life, things that I should do with "I CAN DO IT LATER", HE taught and replied me back with : "WHAT IF ........?".

- What if something happen to my mom? Didn't I regret the chance I have to look for her?

- What if something happen to 1 of my family member and I still haven't say sorry if I did something that hurt THEM? Didn't I will be burden by it later?

- What if tomorrow never comes? Who can guess when is the last day you will be in this world? Didn't I regret the chance to say thank you to them as appreciation?

- What if you always getting busier and busier each day? Won't you regret not giving much time to your loved ones?

- What if the times of your judgement day finally come and all you're doing until now is taking His love for granted?

- What if your dad is not always there for you? Won't you regret the opportunity to say I love you? Because for me, that's my biggest regret until this time.. If only I knew he's not gonna be with me forever, certainly I will say 'I love you' to him everyday in my life.. Even if I always say 'I love you I love you' now, it's already pointless.. He's gone and wouldn't come back to me..

* You know what's one of the reason people can take things or someone for granted?
- Adalah karena mereka belum pernah atau belum mengalami rasa sakit atau kehilangan akibat perginya seseorang yang sungguh berati atau disayangi, yang sungguh tidak akan pernah kembali, apapun yang kalian lakukan untuk mengubahnya..

I heard a lot people say : 'You will know how much it means to you after you lose it'.

That's right, but after God gave me the biggest lesson of it, when I lose my dad, I think that words are somehow stupid..

- Why you will know the value of a thing or a person AFTER you lose it? Can't you see their value when you have them with you? Or actually once again, you take them for granted : You always know what you have, you'd just never think you will lose it.. Do you?

The right words should be : Don't wait until you lose it, to know how valuable those things/persons to you.. Love them with the best of you while you still have them..

The other point that you can get from this story is :
- DO NOT COMPARE your shoe to another.. Or in other words, do not compare your life with other human being.. You don't know their life.. You never walked on their shoes..

- If they are happy, doesn't mean they never experience sadness..

- If they are bright whenever you see them, doesn't mean they didn't cry in their own bedroom when they're alone..

- If they are so successful in this life, doesn't mean they didn't walk through hardship to achieve that..

You don't know the story behind every human's face.. Each person has their own story.. Thus you have no right to judge them based on how they look like to you..

THE BEST IS TO APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE NOW WITH FAITH THAT IT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU.. 

EVEN IF YOU THINK THEIR LIFE IS BETTER, BUT IF YOU WALK IN THEIR SHOE, PERHAPS IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS YOU IMAGINE THEM TO BE..

I am not perfect in every way.. I am forgetful and sometimes, my occupation and other activities make me so busy that I forget so many things that I shouldn't.. For instance, what happen with my Converse shoe is just small example how forgetful I am..

Human sometimes forget things.. Their priority can change easily as time goes by.. And I don't say you can't change your priority the way you want them to be..

In fact you can do whatever you want.. I just want to encourage you to put your priority's order wisely..

Maybe this question can help you as it helps me :

* WHO IS THE PEOPLE OR WHAT THINGS THAT ITS PRESENCE WILL YOU MISS THE MOST WHEN THEY AREN'T BESIDE YOU, EVEN ONLY FOR A WHILE?

I asked that question to myself and my answer till this time is the same :

No.1 will always be my savior God, Jesus Christ..
No.2 will always be my family, plus his family now..
No.3 will always be my closest friends, wherever they are..
No.4,5,6,7,etc, the order can change based on the condition..

BUT THE TOP 3 WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME..

Saya cukup lega bahwa goresan yang tidak bisa hilang itu terjadi pada sepatu saya.. I am sad, but if it's happen to my heart or to people I love, I will be sadden even more..

The fact is :

REPLACING SOMEONE IS FAR MORE DIFFICULT THAN REPLACING AN OBJECT.. OR PERHAPS YOU CAN'T SUBSTITUTE ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER.. BECAUSE WHAT MATTER IS HOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO YOU WHICH CAN'T BE SUBSTITUTE WITH OTHER INDIVIDUAL OR THINGS IN THIS WORLD..

IF THERE IS AN OBJECT THAT TRULY CAN'T BE EXCHANGE OR IMITATE, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE 'THE BEHIND THE SCENE' STORY ABOUT WHO GIVES THAT TO YOU, OR HOW YOU GET THAT ITEM, IN OTHER WORDS : THE SACRIFICE YOU DO TO OWN IT.. NOT BECAUSE THE WORTH OF THE ITEM ITSELF..

In the end,

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT STAND WITH YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE WHO SACRIFICE THEIR NEEDS FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ABOUT WHO'S THE ONE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU ALL THIS TIME?

IT'S ALWAYS WHO'S THE ONE THAT TRUST YOU STILL UNTIL THIS TIME?

I know I couldn't bear to lose any other human being again like how I lose my dad without me trying the best to make him know how much I love him..

That's why if I have spare time, not only wiping shoes and cleaning other things(LOL), I texted, whatsapp, line, BBM every single person that has significant part in my life.. If they are in Sydney, I ask them to have brunch with me, watching movie or have dinner together..

Even it's only how are you or just simple good morning or night, or saying happy Sunday, have a nice day, I will do it.. I want them to know how they are special and how I remember them.. Sometimes, I called my mom and my closest friends even if it's just 30 seconds or 1 minute chit chat..

MY FRIEND, TAKE INITIATIVE.. MAKE THE 1ST MOVE.. DON'T JUST WAIT..

* FOR ME, GOOD, GREAT, BEST THINGS COME TO THE ONE WHO NOT ONLY WAIT, BUT MAKE EFFORTS TOWARD IT..

Make sure the special people of yours know that they are special or loved by you..

I don't want you to have the same experience like mine until you understand this.. Let's remind each other.. Let's build each other..

* If you still can't change the world at the moment, surely you can change the small world near you by becoming the light that gives and show love, right?

Remember :

1. SOMETIMES, WORDS CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD UNTIL IT'S SPOKEN.. 

2. DO NOT ASSUME 'THEY SURELY KNOW FROM MY ACTION'. YES ACTION IS IMPORTANT, BUT DOES NOT MEAN WORDS ARE LESS ESSENTIAL ALSO..

Even Jesus acknowledge the power of words.. Bible said :

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) : Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 16:24 (ESV) : Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Lastly, to close this, I wanna tell you the most irreplaceable gift that you can give to others :

TIME.. YES, IT'S TIME.. 

WHY? 

1. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BUY TIMES.. YOU ONLY CAN GIVE TIME SINCE TIME ITSELF IS A GIFT TO YOU FROM OUR CREATOR.. 

2. ALSO, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE IT ONLY ACCORDING TO THE TIME HE HAS GIVEN YOU TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD.. 

SO IF IT'S THE CREATOR HIMSELF THE ONE WHO GIVE THAT GIFT TO YOU, IT IS CERTAINLY THE BEST THING YOU CAN GIVE TO SOMEONE ELSE..


+ TREASURE THE MOMENTS YOU HAVE SO IT CAN BE A GREAT MEMORY...

+ NOONE CAN STOP DEATH TO COME, SO MAKE SURE YOU'VE DONE YOUR BEST TO APPRECIATE THE LOVE YOU'VE RECEIVED FROM OTHERS, ESPECIALLY YOUR PARENTS..

+ HOW IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES? ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T REGRET ANYTHING?

+ THEY SAID OPPORTUNITY IS ALWAYS THERE... BUT THEY FORGET TO TELL YOU THAT CHANCES AREN'T..

+ MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE..

+ DON'T COMPARE IT TO OTHERS, AND BE GRATEFUL WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AT THIS VERY MOMENT BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST THING YOU SHOULD AND NEED TO HAVE TO BECOME EVERYTHING HE CREATES YOU TO BE..


++ NOW IS THE BEST TIME TO GIVE YOUR GIFT OF TIME.. BECAUSE GIFTS ARE FOR PRESENT, NOT LATER.. 
(GIFT = PRESENT)


Praise be to Him always who inspire me to become a better person day by day..

Regards, Cindy

End of 2014, beginning of 2015

Hi everyone!!!

Firstly, I wanna greeting you all with HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Hopefully this year is a better year ya.. I know it's 2 months late already and I'm sorry for it.. But better late than never right? Hehehhe..

Sejak kepulangan saya ke Indo hingga sekarang, ada saja banyak hal yang harus dikerjakan.. I thought I could at least wrote a new post at night but the result was : I was too exhausted.. Jadi setiap sampai rumah, saya cuma buka laptop sebentar untuk check email dll lalu langsung tertidur..

Jadi disini, saya mau memberikan sedikit update mengenai apa yang terjadi di bulan2 terakhir saya di tahun 2014 kemarin..

Enjoy reading guys :)
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I'm gonna share the good news that some of you perhaps knew already :

Guess what??? I GOT ENGAGED!!!!!!! :)

Kepulangan saya December kemarin ini termasuk yang paling lama jika dibandingkan dengan liburan2 saya ke Indonesia sebelumya..

From my university, liburnya sendiri saja sebenarnya dari December-akhir February lho.. Tapi karena saya tidak bisa terlalu lama meniggalkan Sydney dikarenakan pekerjaan juga, akhirnya awal February saya memutuskan untuk kembali terlebih dahulu..

Selama di Surabaya, banyak sekali hal-hal yang harus saya persiapkan untuk mengurus acara engagement tersebut.. Namun puji Tuhan berkat bantuan keluarga, khususnya mami of course dan pihak2 lainnya, acara tersebut akhirnya berjalan dengan lancar dari awal sampai akhir..

Mami sudah membantu menguruskan berbulan2 sebelum kepulangan saya ke Surabaya.. Namun I told her that I will make every decision.. Jadi sehari setelah saya mendarat di Sby, hari2 saya langsung dipenuhi bertemu dengan orang2 decor, kue, EO, baju, dan banyak lainnya..

Untuk dekornya sendiri, saya diberikan banyak sekali pilihan, tapi semua tidak ada yang cocok.. Saya tidak mau acara engagement tersebut terkesan sangat 'chinese'. I want it to be simple, yet classy n modern..

Saya bersyukur sekali mami dan mama Aris memberikan saya kebebasan untuk menentukan decor yang saya mau.. So, months before I got back to Surabaya, I did some researches.. Dan ketika saya bertemu dengan orang decornya, saya mengajukan design yang saya mau.. Design itu sendiri tidak pernah dipake oleh orang di Surabaya sebelumnya..

Warna themes dari engagement itu sendiri bukanlah merah seperti orang pada umumnya.. Awalnya, saya tidak ingin sama sekali menggunakan warna yang ada unsur merahnya.. I didn't like it.. Tapi mereka berkata bahwa paling tidak harus ada sedikit.. Jadi akhirnya diputuskan untuk menggunakan warna pink yang muda sekali, dikombinasikan dengan warna biru yang juga sangat muda..

About my dress, coba tebak apa warna yang saya inginkan hayo,hahahaha.. Tidak tahu kenapa, saya ingin sekali menggunakan warna kuning.. YES, IT'S YELLOW!! LOL.. Thankfully, untuk urusan dress, saya juga dibebaskan untuk menggunakan warna yang saya inginkan..

Tapi setelah berputar2 selama berhari2 di Surabaya, I couldn't find any yellow dress that I like.. Sebenarnya mau berencana untuk membuat dress baru, tapi karena waktunya sudah tidak cukup, akhirnya diputuskan untuk menyewa, dengan model yang dicustomized..

And you know guys, milih dress 1 aja , sulitnya itu ampun dah hahahaha.. Perhaps you girls know what I mean.. So many pretty dresses yang ditawarkan kepada saya, jadi bingung banget.. Mami sendiri juga ikut bingung, jadi akhirnya semakin puyeng dah.. Bisa berjam2 untuk mencoba dress- dress itu.. Pakai lepas, coba lagi dilepas lagi, begitu seterusnya..

Sampai akhirnya ada 1 dress ini yang saya suka yang sebenarnya belum diliris keluar.. But unfortunately, the color is dark green.. Menurut saya sebenarnya tidak apa2, tapi menurut mami dan pihak dekor serta EOnya, warna tersebut tidak cocok dengan konsep pestanya.. But I like it so much since the 1st time I saw that dress..

Jadi sedikit memaksa deh untuk menggunakan baju itu hahahahha.. Tapi mami bilang lagi kalau warnanya kurang cocok, kalau dari modelnya sebenarnya bagus2 saja, tidak masalah.. Setelah berhari-hari memikirkan hal tersebut, sempat cukup sedih juga kalau tidak bisa menggunakannya, akhirnya muncullah 1 dress yang sama persis dengan dress yang saya suka tersebut, hanya saja, kali ini warnanya PEACH..

Saya coba baju tersebut dan mami bilang jauh lebih cocok kalau saya menggunakan warna ini karena masih masuk dengan konsep pestanya dan juga lebih cocok dengan warna kulit saya.. Supaya tidak kebingungan terus menerus, akhirnya saya menjatuhkan pilihan pada dress tersebut deh hehehe.. :) Keputusan soal dress ini adalah keputusan terakhir yang harus saya buat yang berkaitan dengan pesta pertunangan nanti.. Jadi, finally, selesailah sudah semuanya..

Pada saat hari semakin dekat, saya sering bertanya kepada diri sendiri kenapa ya tidak ndredeg sama sekali.. Biasanya kalau di film2 kan pihak perempuannya juga grogi, tapi saya tidak.. Malah yang kelihatan ndredeg justru mami,hahhaha.. :D

Namun 10 hari sebelum hari H itu sendiri, tidak tahu mengapa, saya jadi sering sekali uring2an di rumah dan itu sebenarnya tidak ada alasan yang benar2 masuk di akal.. Mami dan Aris kena getahnya semua,hahahhaha.. Merasa bersalah deh kalau ingat2 lagi..

Tiap hari saya ngomel terus dengan alasan2 yang aneh bin ajaib.. Sampai mami bilang kalau saya ni mengada-ngada hal yang sebenarnya tidak ada plus hormon saya yang katanya mungkin jadi semakin labil karena harinya semakin dekat.. Saya sering membuat ada kekhawatiran yang seharusnya sama sekali tidak ada, bahkan tidak perlu dikhawatirkan.. Alhasil sejak hari itu sampai 1 hari sebelum hari H, tiap malam mami mengajak doa bersama supaya saya menjadi tenang..

• Jam 12 malam, sebelum pergantian ke hari H yaitu 18 January 2015.. I could felt my nervousness.. All the memories came back when I first met him.. Never have I imagined, I'm gonna be with him.. Many people perhaps didn't know when I knew this guy, when I became in a relationship and how came I said yes when he proposed to me....

• I admit I didn't go public with our relationship.. And I have my own reasons why.. But it doesn't mean I am ashamed of him like what others always think of.. No.. Absolutely No..

• I am proud of him.. I am proud and love him deeply.. My way of showing my affection to him is perhaps old fashioned compare to what young people do to their lovers nowadays.. Even it's different, it doesn't mean that I love him less..

• He's not perfect and I'm not perfect either.. From our imperfections, we learn to appreciate each other.. From our imperfections, we learn to grow together.. And most importantly, from our imperfections, we can learn together how to be glorify Him together with our own ways..

• There was a time when I was afraid.. Afraid of heartbreaking.. But because of him, I learnt that you need to take one step at a time as well in a relationship.. Not pushing other to become what you want them to be, but ACCEPTING their imperfectness..

• He didn't realize it, but he had taught me a lot of things and I am so grateful of it until today.. 

I AM AMAZED.. HOW GOD CAN SEND AN INDIVIDUAL, 1 SINGLE PERSON, BEYOND YOUR EXPECTATION, THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR WORLD FOREVER.. A PARTNER THAT CAN STAND BY YOUR SIDE.. AND THE BEST PART IS : THAT MIRACLE COMES WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF IT.. IT'S A SURPRISE GIFT..

At that night, I thanked God for all the disappointment experiences in the past.. Because of that history, I am become at least more mature in 1 area in my life.. Because of that history, I can treasure what I have now..

I told Him, 'Tomorrow is the day Lord.. Be with me, be with me.. Hopefully besok semua dapat berjalan dengan lancar ya'....

And praise to Him always, that day, everything went so smooth..

If I tell you all the story here, perhaps you're gonna be bored reading it hahahha.. Thus, I will show you the glimpse of my e-party..

The point is, at this very moment, I am happy.. I am happy and thankful towards everything in my life..

- It doesn't mean my life is perfect..

- It doesn't mean I don't have any tribulation in my life..

- It doesn't mean everything in my life is good..

- It doesn't mean I have a perfect relationship with him..

- It doesn't mean I always get what I want..

- And it certainly doesn't mean I have nothing to worry about..

NO.. Because the fact is just the contrary to what I said..

- My life is not perfect

- I do have a lot of tribulations in my life..

- My life isn't always good

- I don't have perfect relationship with him.. Sometimes, we argue and misunderstood things..

- I don't always get what I want..

- And I surely have tons of things to be worried about..

REGARDLESS.. REGARDLESS what's going on in my life, every night when I close my eyes before sleep, I smiled, looking up, saying.. 'Thanks Jesus, praise be to God always.. And when I'm boast, always will be, for The Lord's glory'. 

___________________________

For you my friends, perhaps you are in the middle of waiting for something.. A job, a breakthrough, a chance, or a partner..

I can't tell you the reason why you need to wait since I don't know.. If only I knew, surely I will let you know..

But, this is what I know : 

* BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW, WE START TO DEVELOP FAITH.. BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW, WE START TO HAVE A SURRENDER HEART.. TOWARDS THE ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING..

All I can say is, do not lose hope.. since that hope will not put us to shame... (Romans 5:5A)

Wait patiently in The Lord.. Delight in Him.. In the appointed time, He will give you what your heart desires as long as it's align with His purpose in you..

Take heart.. Stand firm.. Make the most of your time now and be grateful of each moment..

Remember THERE IS A TIME IN EVERYTHING..

And I just read my friend's blog that inspired me..

2 Corinthians 4:8 (MSG) : We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; .

Stay firm on your faith.. He knows what to do.. We may not know what our future looks like, but we certainly know WHO holds our future..

To close this post, I have 1 more happy news to be shared..

MY PROJECT IS DONE!! IT IS DONE!! I AM SUPER DUPER HAPPY!! LATER , I WILL SHARE IT WITH YOU YA :):)

So overall, 2014 was a very good year for me.. Even I had a lot of ups and down in that year, I still consider it as an amazing year.. The ups taught me to be grateful, the downs taught me to have faith and perseverance.. See, God is so good lho :)

2015? Hmmm.. Of course I believe it will be a BETTER year for me and absolutely for you! Keep the faith ya guys.. THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY 2015!!!!

See you soon again in another post.... And guys, today is my 1st day of school again.. Wohoo!! Wish me luck! :)

Kind regards, Cindy