2013

I attached a music video here.. Listen while reading,ok? :)

-1st January 2014-

At night, I sat down on my chair, facing my laptop.. Smiling and mumble to myself, "It's 2014 already, how quick".. Then, of course, I did my flashback of 2013..

I wondered, what it meant to me..

Those memories came.. Memories of happiness, sadness, ups, and downs.. All dreams that are still on the way..

What I remember the most are the times when I cried in my own bedroom here..

I remember I cried when I was disappointed with some people.. I remember I cried if I felt this life's just too overwhelmed sometimes.. I remember I cried when I was confuse and didn't know what to do next.. And I remember I cried because of all my wrong-doings, failures, and faults that gave griefs to The Lord and people that I love..

This heart is really fragile in some areas..

In so many ways, I am far from perfect.. In all ways, I have countless flaws and weaknesses..

Regret always comes late, followed by guilty. Even I said sorry to someone if I did some mistakes, I knew I couldn’t take back what I just said or did to that person or to Him.. 

Human is just weak, so am I.. 

When I said I want to change, I want to change, I’m not gonna do the same mistake again.. But the next day, what happen is just another disappointment for The Lord and people that I treasure.. I said the words only to be denied tomorrow by myself.. Again and again..

I feel hurt when people who close to me did it, when they say they want to change, but they didn't.. I forgot, that for several times, I did exactly like that also to them..

More regret and undeserved feeling came.. Saying to myself “I’m a fool, I’m a fool”.

Trapped with self-condemnation.. Even if/when He or others forgave me, I still couldn’t accept it.. I couldn’t believe it.. I expect some punishment, not mercy.. I deserve anger, not patience.. 

At that moment, I realized forgiving ourselves for doing something wrong can become more difficult than forgiving others..

Keep saying sorry in my heart all day long, praying and kneeling down - begging for forgiveness for hours and hours.. Forgetting that He already knew what mistake I will do in moments ahead before I knew it..

If there is a sentence that conclude my 2013, it will be this :

• It’s the year of How The Lord LAVISHED His Goodness in my life.. How He poured out such mercy and grace that I didn’t deserve at all.. Makes me stand in awe for His wondrously deeds..

When I asked who am I that You’ve been so good? He answered ‘You are the apple of My eyes’. (Deutronomy 32:10)

When I asked who am I that You love me? He answered ‘A daughter and I will be A Father to you’. (2 Corinthians 6:18)

When I said I’m a fool, a failure from the start. He said back ‘No, in all these things, you’re more than a winner, through Christ. If anyone in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone’. (Romans 8:37 ; 2 Corinthians 5:17)

When I asked how come such grace’s been given to me? He answered ‘It’s a gift. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD’. ( Ephesians 2:8)

When I answered back that I didn’t deserve it, He said “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinner to repentance’. (Luke 5:32)

When I almost walk away because of self condemnation, because I thought my sins are way too many and big already, He PULLED ME BACK and said, ‘Hear these words clearly for you have read it :  

• “ Who then will condemn you? No one—for Christ Jesus died for you and was raised to life for you, and He is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for you. Can anything ever separate you from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves you if you have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? I am convinced that NOTHING can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither your fears for today nor your worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate you from God’s love. 

• No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate you from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:34-39)

• Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; YOU ARE MINE! "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. "For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, YOUR SAVIOR.. (Isaiah 43:1B-3A)

• Even though you walk through the darkest valley, you will fear no evil, for I am with you; My rod and staff, they will comfort you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. I have you in the palms of My hands”. (Psalm 23:4 ; Deuteronomy 31:6 ; Isaiah 49:16A)

I burst into tears.. In awe of how such goodness is still exist for a sinner like me? How come there is such love for me? 

HIS GRACE ABOUNDS TO ME.. In every situation, in every circumstances, in every part of my life.. His grace is there.. Giving me more than enough encouragement reminder..

" You can do everything through Christ that give you strength.. Where sin increased, God's grace increased much more. Therefore, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness " (Philippians 4:13 ; Romans 5:20 ; 2 Corinthians 12:9)

I started to realize again, that my difficulties were nothing compare to God's given grace..

When I looked again at that grace, what I remember first was my history, a mark from God.. How I knew that HIS grace is the one that bringing me here.. If God, made me able to pass those difficult challenges ONCE, the SAME GOD will also make me able to do it again TODAY..

I am able to live an overcomer life is because His grace always there for me..

Even in my darkest hours, His grace has Its own way to find its place in my heart..

- I thought, there will be a time soon when His grace and mercy will disappear from my life.. I thought, there will be a time when He will grow tired of my continuously transgression and then leave me..

Yet, what happen is just the opposite.. HIS GRACE AND MERCY NEVER STOP.. HIS LOVE IS UNENDING..

HE SETTLED MY MATTERS, MY WRONG DOINGS.. HE WASHED ME AGAIN, CLEANED AS SNOW.. (Isaiah 1:8)

I stopped for a few minutes.. Wiped my tears.. Smiling, saying ‘Then bear with me, be with me, just be with me.. It’s okay if you are quiet as long as you there, it’s enough.. Never take Your presence from me, stay here, just stay.’. A simple replied that once again, made me able to look up and raise : ‘Always, to the very end of the age.....’ (Matthew 28:20B)

Everything that happened TO me in 2013, it is happened FOR me as part of His divine plan in my 2014..

• SLOWLY BUT SURE, I REALIZE THAT OBSTACLES OCCUR, DIFFICULTIES COME, AND UNEXPECTED SITUATION ARISE, ARE ONLY TO SERVE 1 GLORIOUS REASONS.. TO SHOW ME, THAT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME.. NOT FOR A MOMENT HE FORSAKES ME..

• THEN IF HE STAYS, IF MY CREATOR NOT EVEN ONCE GIVE UP ON ME.. ME TOO, DON'T HAVE ANY REASONS TO GIVE UP ON MYSELF..

• LIFE GOES ON, WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT.. THEN I WILL GET UP AGAIN WHEN I FALL DOWN.. FOCUS AND PRESS ON TOWARDS MY BRIGHT FUTURE.. BRINGING HIS COVENANT IN MY LIFE AND KNOWING EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE AS LONG AS I CLING TO HIS GRACE..

Praise be to God always that give me a 2nd chance in this 2014.. Afterall, New Year is also about new opportunities and chances in so many areas right?

My friends, I want to remind you that GOD IS GOOD, WHATEVER IT IS, HE IS GOOD..

IN EVERY TEAR, IN EVERY HURTFUL SITUATION, IN EVERY DISAPPOINTMENT, IN EVERY STEP, IN EVERY DECISION, IN EVERY PRAYER, AT MY WORST, WHEN MY WORLD FEELS LIKE FALLS APART : HE IS GOOD AND WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD..

I don't know what difficulties you're going through now, how bad your heartache is.. To say I understand, it's gonna be a lie, since I don't.. Even in my life, I don't understand a lot of things.. I often ask so many questions to God and He did not answered or showing any signs of answer..

THEN I STARTED TO REALIZE, NOT EVERY QUESTION HAS AN ANSWER OR NEED TO BE ANSWERED.. THERE IS A TIME THAT YOU JUST NEED TO ACCEPT HOW THINGS HAPPEN OR TURN OUT IN YOUR LIFE.. WITH FAITH, THAT GOD HAS HIS OWN AMAZING PURPOSE WHY HE LET YOU EXPERIENCED IT..

AND IF, IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE, REMEMBER THIS WORDS, WORDS THAT I SAY TO MY SELF SO MANY TIMES :

• DIDN'T I (YOU) STILL SURVIVE IN SPITE OF THE NEGATIVE THINGS OR EVENTS IN MY LIFE?

FOR ME, THAT'S THE ANSWER.. AS LONG AS I'M ALIVE, AS LONG AS I STILL CAN WAKE UP IN THE NEXT MORNING, I KNOW OPPORTUNITIES FOR ME TO BECOME BETTER STILL EXIST.. I KNOW HE IS STILL ABLE TO TURN MY SITUATION AROUND..

I KNOW HE IS FOR ME, NOT AGAINST ME..

I KNOW THAT MY SAVIOR IS CONSTANT.. HE IS FAITHFUL.. HE IS ONLY GOOD AND WILL NOT HOLD GOOD THINGS TO FALL UPON ME.. FOR HE MAKES EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL IN ITS TIME.. HE IS SOVEREIGN.. (Psalm 84:11B ; Ecclesiaster 3:11)

THOSE ASSURANCES, MAKE ME ABLE TO LIVE THIS LIFE TO THE FULLEST.. AND MAKE ABLE TO SAY ALWAYS : WHATEVER IT IS, GOD IS GOOD..

To tell you His goodness in my life, this post or my life itself will never be enough.. Whatever happened in 2013, let it stayed there, as a MEMORIES..

• EVERYTHING CAN CHANGE, BUT MEMORIES STAY.. LET IT STAY THERE IN YOUR HEART.. LET IT BECOME YOUR HISTORY THAT MAKE YOU WHAT/WHO YOU ARE TODAY.. WHEN THERE IS A HISTORY, THERE IS A PRESENT ALSO.. HISTORY IS PAST, IT'S OVER.. BUT PRESENT IS WHAT CREATES YOUR FUTURE.. IT'S EVERYTHING.. 

• THEREFORE, PRESS ON IN YOUR PRESENT LIFE.. GO TOWARDS THE LIFE THAT YOU'VE BEEN IMAGINED.. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.. BUILD A KINGDOM OF YOURS TO GLORIFY THE KINGDOM OF GOD..

LET'S FIGHT A GOOD FIGHT AND FINISH THE RACE WELL.. THOSE WORDS ABOVE THAT HE SAID TO ME, IT'S FOR YOU AS WELL.. IF GOD IS WITH US, WHO CAN STAND AGAINST US? VICTORY MY FRIENDS, VICTORY IS OURS FROM THE START, DON'T LET THE WORLD STEAL IT..

• I WILL MAKE SURE I WILL ACHIEVE MY DREAMS.. BEING CONFIDENT WITH THIS, THAT HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN ME, WILL CONTINUE HIS WORKS UNTIL IT IS FINALLY FINISHED ON THE DAY WHEN CHRIST JESUS RETURNS.. (PHILIPPIANS 1:6)

I can't wait to hear your great stories and share mine with you face to face about how amazing this life be with Him by my side.. He's gonna be my 1st always.. Knowing that you're not alone in this world my friends.. We are on the same side, just different place and time.. 

Regards, Cindy
-Thanks for being with me in my 2013..  XoXo..


Ps : Finally, I'm going for my holiday.. Will update again when I come back :)

Road to 2014

Hulaaaaa everyoneee!!!! First of all, I wanna say : MERRY CHRISTMAS 2013 AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!!!!!!!!!!!! I BELIEVE THIS YEAR GONNA BE MORE AMAZING THAN THE PREVIOUS ONE!! WUHUUUU!! So excited!! 2ndly, I want to apologize for saying it quite late.. T-T (but better 'a little bit' late than not at all, right? Hahhahahah..)

Anyway, how's your Christmas?? How's your New Year??? I bet it's super awesome yaaa.. I saw a lot of wonderful pictures for C'Mas and New Year from facebook and Instagram.. Especially for SurabayaN people, I was so jealous of you.. Hehe.. My family is in Surabaya, they all gathered for dinner and I'm the only one missed (since I was in Sydney).. How I actually really want to spend these wonderful occasions with them.. Huhuhuuhu..

I supposed to write this post earlier, but because I got so tired lately (since Christmas till New Year) due to my work's schedule (it's a holiday season so it's really busy in my workplace), finally I decided to postpone these stories that I want to write now..

I'm gonna divide it into 3 parts :

1. IT'S CHRISTMAS! (25th December)
2. BOXING DAY.. (26 December)
3. SYDNEY'S NEW YEAR 2014!

Why? Because IT IS MY 1ST TIME CELEBRATING THOSE GREAT EVENTS HERE IN SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA AFTER ALMOST 5 YEARS STAYING IN THIS CITY!! Therefore, they're really special to me and I want to share my happiness with all of you :) 

Let's start now!

1. IT'S CHRISTMAS

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR WAS HERE FINALLY!! I am so excited.. This is my 1st time celebrating in Ausie.. Biasanya, saya selalu pulang ke Surabaya sekitar pertengahan December-January.. Untuk pertama kalinya juga saya tidak melihat perayaan Natal yang diselenggarakan my Home Church, Mawar Sharon.. How was it?? I saw the preparation's picture of the event from Instagram.. It's a big one, titled ALL HEAVEN DECLARES LOVE..

I went to Hillsong on Christmas Day.. They have an event there also, full of praise and worship.. It was awesome! I said Merry Christmas kepada orang-orang yang duduk di sekitar saya.. When I met my friends, saya mengucapkan kata-kata itu lebih bersemangat lagi,hahhahaha.. I was so happy! All day long I couldn't stop smiling and keep saying 'OH MY GOD, IT'S CHRISTMAS. AND I CELEBRATE IT IN SYDNEY. LALALLA!!'. They made really big tall Christmas tree in the middle of the city, with its sparkling lamp, stars, and other accessories.. In other place, they made the tree from Swarovski, so it's super super shiny..

With all my heart I give thanks to The Lord, because finally, I have the opportunities to see what Christmas looks like in Sydney.. And it was beautiful, even it's in summer,hahahaha.. Yet, on that day, it's not that hot so I'm grateful again,hihihiihih.. I miss my fam though since we always have dinner together on Christmas Day.. It's gonna be feel more wonderful if I had my family to spend C'Mas together in Sydney.. Hopefully, I can bring them all together to see it one day :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2013 EVERYONE!! I KNEW YOU HAD A GOOD ONE, RIGHT? :D

Some of my Christmas pics :

2. BOXING DAY

Some of my friends thought of it as a real boxing (tinju), but it's not.. Boxing Day disini artinya adalah dimana semua barang di sale sangat besar-besaran lebih dari biasanya, dan all shopping mall opened earlier (Some shops opened at 5AM, others at 7AM)..

I went shopping started at 10AM and it's already people everywhere.. I was so shocked!! I never experienced boxing day before and what happen it's just beyond my imagination.. There was a person that brought a suitcase and went around all the shops.. I bet the suitcase was empty,hahhahahha.. There was a long queue in each shops whether it's shoes, clother, pants, bags, accessories, etc.. You could see securities everywhere in each stores..

Tempat belanjaan yang biasanya teratur dan rapi, langsung berubah jadi seperti pasar lho guys.. Ada baju jatuh berserakan di bagian kiri, bagian kanan celana jeans.. Di bagian sepatu perempuan, tempatnya jauh lebih parah.. Tapi yang mengejutkan, section men's shirt and jeans-lah yang paling messy dari semuanya.. Hahhahahha.. Ada 1 brand yang jam 12 siang sudah habis ludes semua di tokonya, I was so shocked.. Cuma tinggal beberapa baju yang sizenya XL, 2XL, 3XL which was impossible for me,hhahahahha.. I did not really buy much (finger cross, ups!) on that day since I couldn't find my size, it was gone already.. "I should come early, next year then (if I want to come again, LOL)'.

Untung hari besoknya, saya kedapatan shift kerja yang cukup siang.. Jadi bisa mengistirahatkan badan lebih lama,hahahhaha.. I went out at 10 AM, I went back to my home at 10 PM, dan itupun masih cukup banyak tempat yang belum dimasuki sebenarnya.. 12 jam berbelanja masih belum cukup! Hahhaha.. The stores closed at 12AM.. Pada saat saya pulang, masih banyak orang yang berlari berbelanja kesana kemari.. The aftermath of this event was : my feet became so soar.. Jam 5-6an sudah cenut-cenut, tapi masih belum rela pulang,hahahhaha.. Barang bawaan udah lumayan juga, sampai berpikir tadi om-tante yang bawa koper itu bener deh, sudah pengalaman rasanya.. Hahhahaha..

Overall, it was a great experience.. Apalagi melihat tulisan merah discount dimana-mana, I was happy indeed!! Here are the pics :

3. SYDNEY'S NEW YEAR 2014!!

Save the best topic for the last.. I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE FIREWORKS.. IT WAS SIMPLY ONE OF THE BEST, OR THE BEST IN THE WORLD (at least for me since it's my city,hahahahha)!!

I finished work by 3PM, went home, and straight away getting ready again to watch the fireworks in Circular Quay (tempat Opera House dan Harbour Bridge).. It's quite late already so I did hope and hope that I still could get a good spot.. Like my prediction, tempat paling bagus yang langsung menghadap ke Opera dan Bridge-nya sudah ditutup sejak pagi karena sudah full.. But THANK GOD, there was still a spot di bagian sedikit ke pinggirnya, lebih ke arah samping, tapi itu pun bisa melihat ke2nya..

Jadi langsung diam duduk manis disana deh saya tidak bergerak,hahahahhaha.. Yang bisa dilihat dari ujung ke ujuang hanyalah manusia.. They are everywhere! Ramainya seperti apa juga sudah tidak bisa dideskripsikan.. Yang datang melihat kembang apinya jauh melebihi yang sudah diperkirakan.. It's like all Sydney's citizens gathered to see its fireworks..

Kembang api pertama, called as Family's fireworks, started at 9PM sebagai kembang api pembuka.. Meskipun hanya sebagai pembuka dan berlangsung hanya 5 menit, it was a blast! Semua orang sudah langsung berteriak dan mengambil ponsel/kamera untuk mengabadikan moment tersebut.. I was excited too and record it with my phone,heheheh.. Not gonna miss any moments of fireworks for sure..

Kembang api ke2 diluncurkan sekitar jam 10:30 PM I think.. Yang ini lebih sebentar dari yang pertama, tapi bukan berarti kalah bagusnya,hahahha.. Ada juga beberapa kapal dan cruise yang didesign dengan lampu-lampu menyala mengitari Circular Quay..

Finally, moment that I've been waiting for.. I spend 1 year waiting for this since my originally plan was actually watching it last year.. Unfortunately, I had food poisoning, so I couldn't go anywhere on New Year 2013. BUT GOD IS GOOD.. Maybe last year was not my time. This year, for the first time in a decade , the fireworks will come up from the 4 sides of Opera House and I was able to be there..

The counting starts (60,59,58....), all people raised up, all cameras, video recorders, mobile phones has been ready since this morning to capture this time.. 5,4,3,2,1, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014, THEN BOOM!

IT HAPPENED.

I saw it.. I witnessed the  fireworks that people always said, that people always talking about, claimed it as one of the best in the universe.. After 5 years staying in this city, at last I could really see it with my own eyes.. Those people didn't lie to me, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.. IT WAS EXTRAORDINARY.. IT WAS SPECTACULAR..

At that 12 minutes fireworks, while recording it, in my heart, I said this to God :
- Thank you.. Thank you for giving me this chance, I waited 1 year more only to watch this.. And I guess, You want me to wait 1 more year, because it will be more fantastic this year, right? You were right though,hahhaha.. It worth my waiting.. Thank you, Jesus.. Happy New Year 2014, be with me, always..

I recorded it, but for you, It will be better if you watch it from professional's video. Enjoy watching!

At the end of the day, I miss my family again.. I hope I can bring them here to spend new year at least once in few years ahead.. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 everyone.. I HOPE YOU HAD A BLAST, AS I AM.. :)

That's it for today.. It's 1:30AM now and I need to sleep.. I have typed topic for next post and hopefully I can publish it next week..

Good nitez everyone.. Sweet dream! :)

Regards, Cindy